Traumatized by Truth - the old blog

2009-02-03T17:16:00.000-08:00

THis is a More...fucking test

An appropriate topic to accidentaly post about. . .

2006-11-23T14:38:00.000-08:00

The post you might have originaly read here was a comment I was writing to another blog. I write them here if I want to post hyper-link, then discard them. This one, I accidentaly posted - I thought I deleted it, but apparently I did not. The comment was going to Dispatches from the Culture Wars, my brother Ed's blog - here. The exchange between myself and Greg Byshenk, is where the accidental paost came from.

Since I got onto the topic of the proliferation of SWAT raids, for non-violent, under-investigated cases, I'll go with it. Perusing Radley Balko's White Paper, Overkill: The Rise of Paramilitary Police Raids in America is a good place to start. Check out this, this and this - let the conversation continue in comments.

FYI, I am dead against the "war on drugs" and I am dead against the overutilisation of SWAT teams in law enforcement. As well as seeking to legalise and regulate currently illicit drugs, I also believe in legal gambling and prostitution.

Wow, this is great thus far

2006-07-17T19:53:00.000-07:00

A report for the Cato institute that I have been anticipating with great excitement - and thus far I have not been dissapointed. After I have read it I will expound further but here is a link to Cato - you can buy it or download it in PDF.

I can already hear the cries of activist judges destroying our way of life. . .

2006-06-30T15:14:00.000-07:00

From the trecherous NYT, Sen. Orin Hatch -

"restore the constitution to what it was before unelected jurists changed it five to four." He went on to say, "Five lawyers decided 48 states were wrong."

Those five lawyers were the top jurists in this country, the equal of our president and the senator as well. Those five lawyers are justices of the Supreme Court. And for the record they did nothing to "change" the constitution.

With what sychophantic "conservatives" are likely to call a liberal activist ruling, by the Supreme Court yesterday on Hamden - we find they are again doing their job - protecting us from the excesses of an administration run amuck with power. Providing us with soemthing lacking these last five years - checks and balance.

What is frightening is that this was a close ruling. If Roberts hadn't needed to recuse himself it would have been a 5-4 ruling. One vote away from a true imperial presidency. Now in this specific case, of course, Roberts recused himself having already ruled on it while on a lower court - but in future cases (of which there will be at least a few) involving this tyrranical theory of the unitary executive we can be fairly confident where his vote will go.

Being a man of faith I am praying hard, for the remaining "liberal" (3 of whom are republican appointees) justices good health and well-being.

Also, I am looking forward to hearing the right calling for more violence against judges. . .

A superiority problem and thoughtful debate

2006-06-27T23:04:00.000-07:00

In a discussion of homosexuality at Ezra Klein's blog I was accused of being a lesser person by a man whom I have debated before - Fred. He explained that he is in fact better than I am because he believes he has a stronger belief in democracy than I do. Debate under such circumstances becomes impossible. When one decides that they are so very right and the other person is so very wrong that they are actually better than the other - there is no point in further discussion.

The reason I have enjoyed debating Fred in the past is that I truly do not understand the line of reasoning some people use to promote many conservative agendas. In this case a belief that it is just fine for people to discriminate against other people due to their sexual preference. I honestly do not understand why some folks can think that is ok. So I talk to him, question, try to figure out where he is coming from. I have not always been smiling and kind in my responses to the few arguments he will actually try to answer but I apologised the one time I made a personal attack, made when I was angry, tired and stressed out. Not a valid excuse for bad behaviour - but I did apologise. And subsaquently we have had reasonable if heated arguments.

Then he attacks me. I was neither rude nor condescending and I made no assumptions about his motives. Yet he turned around and presumed I believe something I do not - then judged me to be less than he.

Let me be clear. I believe in a democratic process to vote for equality for all people regardless of sexual preference or any other minority - including those involved in any single religion. And while the right to religious expression is specificly written into our constitution, the right to be free from discrimination in employment, housing or public business is not. Our courts decided that we have an inherent right to be free of discrimination due to many things - including religious preference, because of our constitution. Some courts have even said that homosexuals have inherent rights to be protected from discrimination - even while our politicians played catch up writing laws prohibiting discrimination in a variety of arenas, for a variety of reasons.

It is not a huge stretch to afford homosexuals those same protections. The problem from a certain conservative point of view is that this is inevetable. Within decades gay marriage will be looked at the same as inter-racial marriages are in most circles. We will wonder how ignorant we were as a society to actualy buy into that crap. I still hope that we will abolish the legal status afforded marriage and put the legal standard on civil unions. I honestly believe that that is the only way to truly restore sanctity to marriage. But it is clear that this is inevitable. Within decades the voting public will contain a much higher percentage of young people who grow up seeing that gays living together as life partners and even raising families has not led to the destruction of the family. Indeed they will be seeing in many places an emboldening and strengthening of the family unit as more gays grow up knowing they can have longterm relationships and don't have to run around having loose sex.

This is why they are half heartedly trying to strike this bigotry into the constitution. To say that marriage and legal benifits thereof are only available to opposite sex couples. It would take much longer to re-amend the constitution to remove it. Even now a firm majority of Americans believe in legislating anti-discrimination laws and allowing civil unions. Many conservatives like to throw marriage into the fray because there it becomes a little more polarized. But the tide is turning and already supports much of what I advocate.

As his presidency burns. . .

2006-04-21T09:59:00.000-07:00

Record lows in the polls for mr bush - more later on what he seems to be doing with it. . .

2006-03-13T21:59:00.000-08:00

It is amazing to me that with every step forward the moderate voices in this country are shouted down and told they are grasping, with no hope for success. The president sits at 36% while congress and the senate have been doing abysmally for nearly a year in the polls, not helped at all by a trickle of Abromoff fare. Yet they act as though they have a manadate from the people to drive this country into the ground. They have destroyed and crumpled everything they have touched - literaly. . .And yet they have the temarity to talk down Russ Fiengold, a true blue, standing strong fighter for the American people in the senate, for attempting to censure the president, the strongest statement a senator can make about a sitting president. (Only the house can impeach the president) This is a man who has stood by his convictions and what he believes all the way. He voted against the "Patriot" act, he voted against war in Iraq - he has, in short, stuck to his guns all the way. And these poor excuses for legislaters we have, would criticize him in any way for wishing to censure bush for the crime of spying on Americans without any lipservice to oversight. Of course the "republican" solution is to change the law and pretend it was that way all along - everythings forgiven misser prezden sah! Any way we can kiss your tush some moh?

UPDATE
If I hear anyone else tell me that I should support the democrats I will scream. These disgusting people are far more concerned about politics than the law. The fact that as of this afternoon 2 more senators had signed on is reprehensible. They all should have been coming strong from the get go on this. There is no question that the man some call president broke the law. Instead of trying to change the law and make it retroactively legal for him to have spied on Americans without oversight - the republicans should be impeaching him and removing him from office. Short of that the democrats should at least stop crapping their pants every time bush mentions terorrism. 67% of Americans finaly understand that this idiot has no interest in making us safer - he has not made us safer - he will always put profit before security. He will put tax breaks for the top .09% of the population before spending on our security - he doesn't bloody well care about anyone but the billionaires. The dems need to come out strong and demand a real investigation and acountability - they haven't and they don't seem to be inclined to.

Yet another reason to abolish the legality of marriage

2006-02-23T14:20:00.000-08:00

I found this story via Radley Balko's "The Agitator." It is about an unmarried couple who have been together for thirteen years raising three children. They recently moved from Minniapolis to Black Jack MO and were denied an occupency permit because of an ordinance prohibiting more than three people to live together without ties of marriage, blood or adoption. They were subsequently questioned for an hour about their personal relationship by the city council who then denied their appeal - their next stop is in court.

This is just another example of the inherent discrimination of marriage as a legal institution. I have spoken briefly before about my feelings on marriage. It is a religious institution and should have no legal bearing. People who wish to share in the legal benifits, currently afforded married couples, with their domestic partner should be able to regardless of there gender, religious preferences or desire to be "married." These civil unions should be the only such unions recognized by the state or any court of law. Those who wish to be married are free to do so in accordence with their beliefs but the state has absolutey no reason to recognize or provide any legal standing to said union. If the married couple wishes to enjoy the legal benifits of their relationship they should also have to get a civil union for said recognition.

If one looks at this idea objectively it is not nearly as radical as it sounds. The ability to gain legal benifits for a domestic partnership from a civil union rather than marriage would signifigantly reduce the divorce rate and go a long ways toward truly protecting or I would call it renewing the sanctity of marriage. With the sharp increase in the divorce rate of the 70s and the 80s a lot of people in my generation lost all respect and confidence in marriage as an institution. It has been merely a legal ploy for many people in the last few decades, rather than a sacred and beautiful union. With so many folks crying about "saving" marriage it really seems to be for the best. Removing the legal need for marriage would go a long ways toward renewing it as a sacrement, as an expression of love and sacred trust rather than a tax advantage or legal ploy.

I am back online

2006-02-19T20:51:00.000-08:00

I am back but there are going to be a changes. I am going to be focusing on issues effecting single parents more than anything else. I am developing a ministry within my church specificly for single parents. Being one myself I noticed a big lack of anything for us in my church and in fact in most churches. There are a lot of important ways the church can and should be reaching non-traditional families and that is what I am going to be spending a lot of time working on. I am therefore going to focus my blogging here as much as possible to on single parent and other non-traditional family issues.

I will be allowing myself once a week to post on anything else that has me irked. I am going to stick to this the best I can and see what happens. There are so many things happening that directly effect non-traditional families that I likely won't have a hard time finding things to write about. Healthcare will be a big one coming up soon. I have a lot of things to get done before I get back to posting regularly but I will be back into the swing in a couple of days.

I am temporarily offline

2006-02-02T12:10:00.000-08:00

I won't hae the oppertunity to post for a little while as the internet was shut off at my house. It is a long story as to why but suffice to say that while I get along with my roomie famously, life with room mates is not always perfect. I will be back asap - probably in a week or so.

A Dark, Dark Day

2006-01-30T23:55:00.000-08:00

Today was of deep historical signifigance, our nation is the closest it has ever been to truly falling into the depths of fascism. I keep trying to escape with banal, mindless braincandy but it keeps coming back, as do the tears.

We are one step closer to forgoing our constitution and descending into totalitarianism. The highest court in our land has tipped. Not to the right, not to the republicans but to something entirely different - irrelevance. The same place our congress and senate seem to want to go. We are set back by a generation at least - we may never recover.

I hear talk of this culmimnation of a thirty year agenda. This is more like a 230+ year agenda of men who wanted our country to be founded differently than it was. These men want a government that believes the corporate is the absolute, they believe the president is the representative of the corporate, they believe that everything and everyone else is beholden to that. People are meaningless - money and power carry the only relevence.
J. Edgar Hoover and Joe Macarthy couldn't even dream of this day. The darkest day in our nations short history. I weep for what we have lost.

I hate it when this happens.

2006-01-26T16:23:00.000-08:00

I just finished a very long post about my take on the war on terror and our national security. I went to post it and it turns out blogger was down. I lost the second half of it as it hadn't been saved in a while. I will take a little tiem to re-write the whole thing but I will post the first part of it. Also spell check is not working right now, sorry.

All right let's talk terror. . .P. 1

2006-01-25T20:54:00.000-08:00

I can not and will not speak for the democratic party and their plans. I will say catagoricly that the republicans have not, just to be clear, not made us safer. They are not protecting us any better than they were before we were attacked by terrorists from the middle east. Nor do most Americans believe that they are. I can not honestly say that the democrats have a plan that will make us safer but it seems to me that it is far more likely they will do a better job than the current regime. They could do the country a great service by reforming campaign financing by pushing for publicly funded campaigns thus leveling the playing field so we can get real people who actualy care about America and Americans to represent us.

We need a change now more than ever. The current regime is so corrupt that they have weakened our military, refused to outfit our soldiers on the ground, give our boys sewer water for bathing and coffee and now want to invade Iran. Our military is broken and continues to be broken by mismanagement and privatization yet we even think about stretching it even thinner? Give our boys the supplies and armour that they need to stay alive and they might actualy meet recruitment goals.

And bush himself has talked about his feelings on the infamous Osama bin Laden; "I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority."- G.W. Bush, 3/13/02
"I am truly not that concerned about him."- G.W. Bush, repsonding to a question about bin Laden's whereabouts, 3/13/02 (The New American, 4/8/02) This is not the attitude of people who really care about the safety of Americans from terrorists. Or we can look at his view of the constitution; “I don’t give a goddamn,” Bush retorted. “I’m the President and the Commander-in-Chief. Do it my way.”
“Mr. President,” one aide in the meeting said. “There is a valid case that the provisions in this law undermine the Constitution.”
“Stop throwing the Constitution in my face,” Bush screamed back. “It’s just a goddamned piece of paper!” (Capital Hill Blue December 11, 2005) This is not the attitude of someone who has America's best interest and safety in mind.

Now I could go on and on about how the republican'ts are not keeping us safe but that would not aproach the issue of how we can make America safer. I will leave the disclaimer that I do not speak for any democrats that I know of - they just seem to me to be a more likely group to implement the policies necessary to make us safer.

The disconnect of the democratic party

2006-01-24T21:23:00.000-08:00

I was listening to Randy Rhodes yesterday when she talked to Howard Dean. It was frightening to me that she ended up educating the chairman of the democratic national committee. It was quite obvious that he could care less about issues that not only concern the base of the democratic party and independent lefties like myself but issues that concern both traditional conservatives and centrist conservatives. Issues that out-weigh other issues that would generally cause them to vote republican.

The democrats seem to be stuck on republican light and it is going to be the death of the democratic party if they don't wake up and realize that the majority of Americans are ready to talk about taboo issues like some form of nationalized health care, clean air and water, meaningful social reform and, the biggest, campaign finance reform.

I think that one of the fears many democrats have is that real campaign finance reform would lead to the death or at least a decrease in the relevance of the democratic party. While this is true they need to realize that there is a large place for individuals in both republicratic parties of integrity to help lead a fresh system that more accurately represents the will of the people of this great nation. I fear that greed and corruption are so rampant in the halls of capital hill that both parties would rather drive this country into the ground than abdicate this destructive system to one that could lead America back to the forefront of the global community, stepping forward to lead the world into the twenty-first century and beyond. Instead it seems that no one will heed the call of millions of Americans crying out for someone to lead us from the absolute depths this country has sunk to.

About getting a little emotional sometimes

2006-01-23T21:30:00.000-08:00

I have been criticized by friends and others for getting emotional in debates. I would like to explain why that's not only ok but important. Too often these debates are way too abstract and end up shying away from the reality that we are talking about real people with powerful interest in what is being discussed.

Take health care, something I still owe a post about. This is one that effects me directly as I am one of the more than thirty million Americans without real access to health care. As a result of the bill pushed through congress at the end of last year it is likely that my son will get cut off Medicaid. Now I will find a way to keep him covered but it will be hard. I eat once a day as it is so that I can provide my son with good, healthy food to eat. If he does get cut off I will either have to eat less than that or I will have to feed him lower quality food. On top of this if he gets cut off it will probably mean his mom and he will also lose food stamp benefits as well, which may mean that I will have to find a way to work more hours which means I will spend less time with him.

I don't piss and moan about my own problems, they are my fault. I am a high school drop-out who could do literally anything I chose with an education - I am that smart. I am fighting to change my situation and it may work out but that is besides the point. Nothing I have done is my son's fault. He didn't ask to be brought into the world with parents who cannot provide for him the way he deserves to be. So this health care "debate" gets me very emotional and makes me very angry. It is absolutely sick that in this country we have so many without health care - including millions of children - it is sick that this country is so far behind so many other nations in this regard.

Then we get to gay "rights." I am not in favor of any special rights for homosexuals but I am adamant that they have equal rights to the rest of us. I get a little emotional when I think about the ten million kids being raised by same sex parents. I get a little emotional when I realize that many of those kids assume that, other than the fact that their parents are the same sex, don't realize that their parents aren't the same as other parents, i.e. they aren't married, at least until the mainstream media shoves this "debate" into their faces. I get a little emotional when I think about the idea that their are people out there who think that these families should be illegal. We are taking so many giant steps backward in this country today that many same sex families in this country are at risk - today.

I get a little emotional when people like Rush Limbaugh accuse me of having a fascination with death. They seem to think that we should just look the other way while the regime in charge of this country causes the deaths thousands of people a year. I get a little emotional when a woman who is awake and aware is cut off her ventilator in Plano Texas because her family doesn't have the money to keep her alive. I get a little emotional trying to imagine the hell she went through in those last moments, betrayed and suffocated by her own body without even the comfort of her mother at her side because she couldn't be brought over here in the time Texas law allotted her. Because I get angry about this - I somehow have a fascination with death - no, I just abhor the bush regime's "culture of death."

And finally, I get a little emotional when the president of this country say that my constitution, the constitution that hundreds of thousands gave their lives that we might have, is just a "damned piece of paper." I get a little emotional when a cabal takes my government and perverts my country into some fascist police state. When the senate, the house, the courts even the media are bent and twisted by the hands of one man I get a little emotional, angry even. This is not some abstract debate, this is our nation being destroyed. And that makes me a little emotional.

ARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

2006-01-11T22:52:00.000-08:00

If I was a democrat - I wold never vote democrat again. These pansies seem to be afraid to spend the political capitol the Repubs gave them by default. They should be hammering Alito into a corner like you wouldn't believe and they aren't even trying to get him to talk. I'm sorry but if the man can't recall that many important aspects of his personal life then they should be asking him if his lack of memory may just be a problem to kep him from performing as a justice on the supreme court.

He can't remember what he put on his job application to the Reagan administration? Or is it that he was either lying then or now? He is inconsistent, he believes in quietly chipping away at our personal freedoms, he believes in expansive executive powers. He does not believe in the America that I grew up learning about in school, he believes in fascism, he believes in a federal imperial state.

This man is insidious in his demolition of the American way of life. He tells people what he thinks they want to hear so he can get a job. Where Roberts became expert at evading questions in hearing, Alito has perfected it. And the idiot democrats allow it. They should make ot clear to him that if he wants a chance to be confirmed he will bring clarity to these proceedings. They have the ability to stop him, some repubs would probably support them - but only if they demand he give them a reason. He is a liar or he is incompetent for the post.

The American people are looking for guidance out of the nightmarish hell this country is in. The democrats repeatedly refuse to provide it. Enough is enough - it is time to end this fiasco we try to call democracy in this country if we still can - it may well be too late. It is time to remove the corruption and those (both dems and repubs) who slowly chip away at our national heritage of freedom and bravery.

Thank God for Oscillococcinum and Emergen-C

2006-01-08T19:48:00.000-08:00

I got the nastiest little bug and it has ben miserable. It is nice to discover that by taking Oscillococcinum and a lot of Emergen-C I have reduced the time it has been horrid from the week or more most people I know have had it to getting over it on day 3. I still feel achey and a little stuffy but I expect to be back to work tomorrow. Oscillo is an extract of either lamb or goose kidney so if your a hardcore vegan you might not want to take it but if not it is just the thing to nip things in the bud. The sooner after the onset of symptoms you take it the faster and more effective it is. I took it more than 24 hours after the onset - the effect was that I woke up this morning feeling worse than ever but by this evening I am feeling about 80% better. I also have been dosing up on Emergen-C which I figure has been a help. I highly reccomend that you take Emergen-C regularly and keep Oscillo on hand during flu season. I wish that I had kept it on hand but even so it has done me great.

I am having an interesting dicussion

2005-12-30T23:07:00.000-08:00

I am involved in a debate over at Ezra Klein about healthcare. I am not up to posting right now but I will be soon. Thanks to Blue Girl for kind of sort of sending me to Ezra's place. . .

Revisiting Democracy - Real Democracy

2005-12-28T21:40:00.000-08:00

I have received a few comments and not a few e-mails (I mailed my prayer for our country to a lot of non-blogging friends who don't realize that I would prefer their words in the comments) about this post.Most of the comments I have gotten tend towards "Well, that's a great idea but it will never happen." Or "You have your priorities wrong, we need to get the two parties to work together more."

I truly fear it will never happen. It won't happen because we the people won't make it happen. We won't demand it as we should. Understand that if it doesn't happen it is our faults. The republicrats won't make it happen, don't want it to happen. That would make them accountable to us. They do not want to be accountable to us. They want to make the money, live the life given them by the lobbyists who court them. If they were to actually clean up Washington and kick out the lobbyists they would lose out. The only way we will get change is to demand it. It may be possible to make our representatives represent us regardless of their party affiliation but in the end that will break down the party system. The party ceases to be relevant - eventually ceases to exist if the members don't follow the party line most of the time. The lobbyist cease to be relevant if we demand our politicians be accountable to us. That means that all the corporate donations to political races dry up - leveling the playing field.

We will not get the parties we have now to talk. The closest we get, the best we get is when we have a congress in opposition to the president. A lot of lefties I know talk about how much better the economy was, how we gained a surplus in budget under the democrats. This is because it was close - in congress the parties had to work together - if they didn't legislation didn't get to the oval office. But things weren't as good as they could be - if they were the neo-cons would never have gained power. Sure there are a lot of reasons aside from that that got them there but it never would have happened if the nation wasn't so polarized. Now I do not honestly believe that people in this country are truly that far apart - I know a lot of people who agree with me more than they disagree on various issues yet they still voted republican. I also know a few who just refused to vote for president because they didn't like any of the candidates. I voted for Kerry - I regret that, and not because he took the state I lived in at the time with a comfortable margin. I regret it because he had no stance, no policy, no bloody plan. He is a democrat and that is where his loyalty lies. I was voting against bush and that is not democracy.

Democracy is voting for someone who in most things believes what you believe, supports policies that you support. Voting for someone who's policies aren't as bad as the other guy will never get you the country you want to live in. Voting for the party that generally isn't quite as bad as the "other" choice still gets you a country that's hard to put yourself behind.

I love America, land of the free, home of the brave - the greatest nation in the world. I do not love bush's vision of America, I did not love Clinton's vision of America. This country needs to change with the times, I won't argue it doesn't - but what should those changes be? Should we leave those changes to a select few who decide what agenda the party will push? Should we continue to let corporations guide the helm of government? Or should we the people decide our own fates, as the founders intended?

Upcoming midterm congressional elections put us at a cross roads. Those elections are anyone's game - a lot of seats are going to shift. Who are we going to put into this power vacuum and are we going to demand their accountability? We have to tell the people we are voting for why we are. We need to tell the candidates what we want from them and make sure they give it to us - if they don't we need to tell them to leave and get someone who will. We need to stop voting for a party and vote for people. We need to take our nation back - and keep it.

If you would like to make a comment please click on "comments" and leave it there - I love e-mail but I prefer others see the comments and have an oppertunity to reply if they wish.

Oh my, the boy is too funny. . .

2005-12-26T23:37:00.000-08:00

Last Christmas post. My son received a car hauler, a tonka truck w/horse trailer and a dirt devil cleaning set among other things. I have had the fun of him today and just found it too amusing that he has yet to put the horse back in it's trailer or any cars in the hauler. He has loaded and unloaded his legos and his new lincoln logs from both trailers repeatedly today, focused mostly on the horse trailer. I was just putting his toys away - a very rare treat for him - as he's now in bed and I just found the handles of his dust mop and broom shoved in a wrapping paper tube. He did help me clean earlier, managing to oversweep his piles over his dust-pan and onto his hand most of the time but other than that the only thing he's done with the cleaning set is put them into the tube and pull them out again - apparently he thinks they should live in the tube when not in use. . .

My prayer for our country. . .

2005-12-25T20:44:00.000-08:00

I normally will write about my prayers at my other blog, but tonight I would like to share this one right here. I am at a loss. While the neo-con GOP has done so much to destroy the very foundation of this country it is just indicative of the larger problem. A true democracy cannot rest upon the back of a two party system. It's easy to say, "oh, the democrats can save us." Or "we just need to get those evil republicans out and everything will be better." It won't.

This country will remain sharply polarized as long as we depend on one of two groups to represent us. They can't possibly represent us. Changing campaign finance laws is only a band-aid - ultimately the only thing that will get the corporations out of government for good is to break free of the republicratic system of government. Voting against the "other" guy does not put our interests into the political mind. It is not going to "save" America. This country has survived this long in spite of the system not because of it. To go on this way is to invite the kind of crap that Bush and his puppet-masters have rammed down our throats to arise again and again. We will never get past it until we decide we've had enough.

We must support, not only support but push into the light independents. We need to come out and run for office. We must demand campaign finance reform and demand that the courts enforce it. This is our country - we need to act like it. Instead of voting for a candidate because he espouses a belief in one or two issues we believe in we need to find people who believe in more of what we do and demand they fight for laws accordingly.

The corporations do not vote these candidates in - we do. We must demand accountability. I agree with a lot of different people on a lot of issues but I know very few whom I agree with everything. When our politicians feel that way we need to tell them how to vote. When we become distracted, allow smoke to be blown in our faces we need to take the time to sift through it and find out what's really happening. When our politicians are going to make decisions we need to tell them what we want those decisions to be.

We are on the brink of losing our nation altogether - there are people in power right now who want to keep us stupid. They don't want us to think, they don't want our opinions. They want us to trust them, allow them to decide everything for us. They are using fear to take away our freedoms, they are using wedge issues to divide and weaken us. And they are winning.

My prayer for this country, tonight, is simple. "Dear Lord, please give me the words, give my friends the words, allow their Gods or lack thereof to loosen their tongues that together we can make this a great nation. Lord we are divided, on some things we always will be, but open us up, bring us together that we might fight for our country. The man who calls himself president told us that we must fight them over there so we won't have t fight them here - show us that the fight is here and has been all along. Lord help us fight for the right to all be represented here, allow all our voices to be heard. Let us all make clear that we will not go silently into the night, to be ruled by an elite few, to be cattle. We are human, we have dignity, we are equal in your eyes, let us be equal in every eye. Dear Lord, I am afraid. Help me rise above my fear, to be a man, to demand my rights, and the rights of everyone. It is my prayer Lord, that you would light a fire in the hearts of this nation, our hearts, that we might take this nation back. In your son's holy name I pray this, Amen. . ."

What a great Christmas

2005-12-25T20:39:00.000-08:00

We had wonderful fun today. I got to open presents with 3 three year olds including my son. They had such a wonderous morning it was truly awsome. And contrary to what those at FNC have been reporting, the joy happened even as I was the only Christian there. And most of the people there not only believe in great organizations like the ACLU, they're also vegetarians and environmentalists. . .I hope all of you had as wonderful a day as I did.

I now embark on my Christmas horror. . .Have a blessed holiday

2005-12-24T13:09:00.000-08:00

The time has come when I must - wrap presents. It's not that I don't like it, it's that I really suck at it and hate to do it. And thanks to my lovely friend Beth and her gift of cash that came with her wonderful cookies I have a couple more to wrap. When my son is at his mothers he lives with two other kids about his age. Their mom's don't usually get them a lot. Cay's mom bought them both a couple of things and as I now have a little extra I decided they should both get a copy of Caleb's favorite new book, "Good Night Opus" by Berkley Breathed. A great book propagandizing the wonders of infinite imagination.

I am going to spend Christmas morning at Cay's mom's house and then if all goes well he and I will go sledding after. We may, however wait until we can go with a couple who are my good friends and there daughter who is Cay's good friend. In any case we will have a wonderful time and his roommates will each have wonderful new book.

I am now going to procrastinate just a short while longer before I pop in a movie and get to wrapping. Have a lovely and relaxing holiday and peace be yours. . .

update; several hours have gone by now, I had to get tape and tarried at Amy's (Cay's mom) to give the boy one of his presents. Now I go to wrap the rest of the presents. . .And watch a movie. . .

Update; I have finaly finished with the wrapping about ten hours after I intended to start. Thanks again to Beth and also thanks to my roomie for leaving a little bourbon when he left town which helped the process once I finaly started. . .

The consequences of Not Impeaching bush

2005-12-21T21:50:00.000-08:00

mr bush Has set a dangerous precedent. He has said clearly that he has absolute power in this country. He can do whatever he wants with impunity. Sure, he's out in a couple of years anyways - or is he? If he decides he can break the law and undermine the constitution as he sees fit, why should he leave? Why relinquish his power or at least the power of his presidency? Even if he were to go peaceably what is to keep his predecessor from taking even worse totalitarian stances. We just bottomed the slippery slope and went off the cliff. If this maniac is not removed from office the damage he has done to our already tenuous democracy will be irreparable.

A false sense or even a real sense of security is just not worth it. Even if we really were more secure because of these draconian, fascist measures it would not be worth it. Hundreds of thousands have given their lives so that we might have these freedoms that this son of a bitch is pissing away. And the truth is we are not a modicum more secure because of it. When will people wake up and understand that with every illicit act, with every divisive stance this regime takes, the fucking terrorists are winning. They want us afraid, they want us to change - that's the point. Every freedom we let this regime take from us is another point for them. bush Is their kind of people. He's a fundamentalist that absolutely thinks he is right and that frees him to do anything he sees fit - so does Osama, so did Saddam, so did Hitler - need I continue? There is no difference between them - they think they have the authority, God given in the case of all but Saddam.

And that is the crux. bush Thinks his authority comes from God not his constituents so he doesn't need to heed the will of the people. If he isn't stopped he will destroy America and much of this planet with it. . .

Arlen Spectre

2005-12-19T22:29:00.000-08:00

Seems to think that spying on Americans without a court order is unconstitutional. He thinks rather than jumping to conclusions we should wait for the hearings. This implies there will be some - this from a republican't. . .

On the possible impeachment of bush

2005-12-19T16:43:00.000-08:00

I have been hearing a lot about this topic lately given the potentialy illegal and obviously dangerous intrusion into the lives of American citizens. I have heard the argument that impeaching bush this close to the Clinton impeachment would set dangerous precedent. That this could lessen the signifigance of impeachment.

Bullshit, forgive my language but thats what this argument is. I would argue that the impeachment of Clinton set a dangerous precedent and has saved bush from impeachment all ready. Enough is enough. This "president" has lied to us, killed over 2,000 American troops, has killed over 100,000 Iraqi civilians and decimated our economy. Those are to me, impeachable offenses but our legislature has avoided the I word for the above mentioned arguments. When will we decide to remove this criminal - what is the last straw? Will we wait until he decides to go after petty drug dealers with "terrorist" ties to the environmental movement? Will we wait until he spies on gay rights activist because of their ties to AIDs patients who might splash their blood at the hick kicking their ass, obviously a terrorist act? Will we wait until he spies on journalists who call over seas to those with ties to terrorists? Hmmm. He may already be doing that. He has been spying on Americans with no oversight. Sure a few congressman knew about it but couldn't taljk about it - the problem is that the courts are supposed to provide that oversight - they are the only ones with the proper authority and for some strange reason they have been left out of the equation.

This is insane. bush has shredded the constitution and wiped his tail with it. We need to decide that enough is enough. The other argument I hear is that because of the Republicant controlled congress it just wouldn't happen. I think we may have finally reached the straw that breaks them too. Repubs joined the dems in fillibustering the patriot act - they may just surprise you and join in impeachment too. This is a blatantly criminal act that needs to be redressed. We must demand that our lawmakers remove this criminal from the oval office. Before the riech marches into all our homes and puts us against the wall. . .

For the record I am not a democrat - though I am pretty angry. . .

2005-12-18T20:40:00.000-08:00

I just read mr bush's speech from this afternoon. He gave a lot of rhetoric, though to his credit he apparently cleared his desk and stared into the camera, and the gist was that anyone who disagrees with the war is an angry dem. . .I'm not a democrat. I am quite irritated with the dems too. I just tend to rant more about the republican'ts because they are the ones currently screwing up our country. The only conccesion I will make to the dems was they didn't try to take away so many of our rights as the right did. They didn't screw up our economy quite the way the right has. And they at least talk the talk about health care - something I lack unless I do it myself. The right just seems to give a big F*** YOU!!!

I cannot begin to understand it. A so called culture of life that glories in the death and destruction of civilian populations, that executes prisoners for heinous crimes - even though they might, just might be killing an innocent so they can have revenge. They deny millions of men, women and even children healthcare or a means to get healthcare and tell them it's their own fault. They cut off food subsidies to the poor while they give corporations multi-billion dollar tax breaks and even give our tax dollars to bail corporations. They tell us they love education while they cut those budgets to shreds. They allow over 6,000 US citizens to remain unaccounted for 3 months after a horrendous natural catastrophe, including many children.

This is not a culture of life - this is a culture of death. They revel in it, they love it, they friggin worship it. Death and human suffering, as long as it belongs to someone else - is owned by someone else and their insular lives are protected from it's remotest presence they are just fine. Take care of each other and pat each others asses - or at least their wallets with our money and screw everyone else. They can starve and burn with fever because they do not matter.

I have not seen a doctor in two years, I can't complain too much, am bright enough that I should have a job that would allow that. My problem now is that if things get much worse, I could soon be saying the same about my son, just shy of four. Millions of children in this country go without healthcare already and that is going to grow if this "culture of death" isn't stopped.

It Is Time To Take Democracy Back, Before We Die. . .

Many hours - many cars moved to get 30 miles home

2005-12-18T20:28:00.000-08:00

I am now experiencing ice and snow in Portland and the worst is yet to come. . .I took 3 hours getting home. Much of it was taken up by helping people stuck on the ice. I was not a moment too soon buying chains for the truck today. I still need tighteners but even slightly loose they got me moving. If only more folks had gotten them I might have gotten home sooner.

It's kind of funny though because my son and I had been planning to go into the mountains for snow today but his mis-behavior at school on Friday precluded that. Apparently, God decided to bring the snow to him instead. I had to help a friend move a washer and dryer after church today (just before the snow hit) so Cay was with a friend his age when the snow hit - I, alas was on the road with a trailer. He got to go out and play in the snow for about an hour while I fought my way back through the ice.

We got just a sprinkling of freezing rain that crystallized all the moisture 0n the road while I took him to momma's before heading over the Columbia to get home. I would estimate I helped move about 75 cars - many were a necessity to get through, some were just to be kind. It took a while but was a good lesson to my son about being neighborly. I have just the perfect amount of bourbon left to kill the pain and here I am warm and blogging. . .

I've got the joy!.!.!

2005-12-16T22:11:00.000-08:00

I am sure many of us are sighing in relief to know that some Republicans joined the Dems in filibustering provisions of the un-patriot act. I know I am along with singing prayers of thanksgiving. I am guessing the news that mr bush giving an executive order allowing the NSA to spy on us without warrants gave many, Republicans and otherwise, pause in their pursuit of the shredding of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.

I also had an interesting day with my son. We were in heavy traffic after I picked him up from school so I turned on the radio hoping for a traffic report that would give me a better route. The radio was tuned to Air America and Randy Rhodes was on. I went to change it to find a traffic report when my son started to throw a fit - apparently he decided he loves Randy. So we listen to it and head on (at 15mph avg.) and stop at Trader Joe's on the way home. While we were listening, Randy played a clip of Sen. Byrd's speech in congress today - it was inspiring, and I would imagine convinced some Republicans to reconsider their position. So we get to Trader Joe's, get our stuff and go to the check-out. When we get up to the counter the woman ringing us up asks my son how he's doing and he says he is really happy. When she asks him why he says; "that old bird man saved us from those damn republicans today." The look on her face (and a few others) was priceless. When the guy running the lane next to hers asked him where he heard about that he replied, "I heard it on Randy's show - I love Randy." I give him points for asking, "Randy Rhodes?"

Later, as we are finishing our books in bed time, we do our hugs and kisses - then we pray. We prayed for our friends and family and everyone else we love and the boy finishes with; "And thank you Lord, for saving us from those damn republicants, can you help us with those democats next Lord? Amen. . .

The moral of the story is - even at just under 4 - your kids pick up a lot more than you realize. I said nothing bad about the "democats" - today. For that matter I mentioned how much I appreciated the decision making of some republicants as well. But we do occasional have some interesting political discussions - more often than not me complaining about the state (or lack thereof) of democracy in this country.

Ford has decided to advertise in gay publications again...

2005-12-14T16:58:00.000-08:00

Apparently the fact that while the AFA boycott garnered very little attention, the fact that Fords caving to the pressure from that hate group made it to national media attention changed some minds at Ford. Congratulations and thanks to everyone who let Ford know just how they felt about this. Now lets let the gov. of Mississippi know how we feel about Cory Maye and the justice denied him. E-mail the governor: governor@governor.state.ms.us

Hey Pentagon!!!

2005-12-14T16:28:00.000-08:00

Now I can't be sure I am on any list, am being "watched" but if I am, I am afraid of you. I am afraid of being put in jail and being unable to provide for my son. That said I will not stop. I will not let that fear silence me. I will go to protests and both vocally and in writing say what I believe. During the Vietnam war you were playing these silly games but apparently you didn't learn; Americans don't like being spied on by our military. If your goal was to swell the ranks of the peace movement, congratulations because if I know Americans, that's just what you did. I fear being imprisoned. I fear being unable to provide for my son. I fear far more the nation I will leave my son if I shut up, if I cave into that fear. So go ahead and watch - just remember, we are watching you too. . .

The Death Penalty

2005-12-13T16:08:00.000-08:00

It has been loud in the news the last few days, Tookie to be executed - now gone. I have posted about Cory Maye in Mississippi. I have been finding myself really exploring my feelings about the death penalty a lot and I think if any good comes from the coverage of Tookie Williams it should be precisely this process. I have long held the opinion that I support the death penalty in any case that is 150% proven - i.e. none of them. The risk of executing the innocent far outweighs the "value" to society. My thinking has undergone great changes in the last few days - forced to truly consider the ramifications.

It has been shown in countless studies to have no effect as a deterrent to capitol crimes. There have been no statistical differences in the number of such crimes committed in areas where one could be executed for them vs places where there is no death penalty. I would theorize that while some people may well be deterred from such a crime if their life could be forfeit, others may well fear life in prison more than execution. Whatever the reason there is no statistical justification for the death penalty as a deterrent.

Some argue that execution helps bring closure to the families of victims. While some may feel "better" knowing that the perpetrator of some crime against a loved one is dead, I suspicion many more feel no better for the vengeance society has enacted for their benefit. When we watch television and the movies showing a death chamber scene, the families getting "peace" it's easy to get swept into the emotions and feel a certain satisfaction in that resolution. I think this is mainly something that exists only in the movies. The reality is that revenge eats away at the soul. It is not peace it is a hollow "victory" whose effects regardless of anything else will not bring back the victims.

It is easy to say "if that happened to my kid I'd kill the fu^$#@!!" But that is why we have a justice system - we don't have to take that into our own hands. We have courts to decide whether a person is guilty and what the punishment should be. When we decide that the punishment should be death, though, this lessens us as a society, as a whole. We become the criminals, advocating behavior that, for all the self righteous indignation, makes us no better than them.

Mississippi "Justice" strikes again. . .

2005-12-08T18:17:00.000-08:00

I posted the other day about a Cory Maye in Jefferson Davis County, Mississippi who has been found guilty of the capital murder of a police officer. Publicola has provided Mississippi statutes on justifiable and excusable homicide.

Justifiable:

"(1) The killing of a human being by the act, procurement, or omission of another shall be justifiable in the following cases:

(e) When committed by any person in resisting any attempt unlawfully to kill such person or to commit any felony upon him, or upon or in any dwelling house in which such person shall be;

(f) When committed in the lawful defense of one's own person or any other human being, where there shall be reasonable ground to apprehend a design to commit a felony or to do some great personal injury, and there shall be imminent danger of such design being accomplished;"

Excusable:

"The killing of any human being by the act, procurement, or omission of another shall be excusable:

(a) When committed by accident and misfortune in doing any lawful act by lawful means, with usual and ordinary caution, and without any unlawful intent;

(b) When committed by accident and misfortune, in the heat of passion, upon any sudden and sufficient provocation;"

The emphasis is mine but when you consider that it was late at night and the police were executing a warrant on Maye's duplex neighbor - not him - it becomes clear that there were clear grounds for Cory Maye's actions. His daughter was sleeping in the same room when a man in assault gear breaks in the door. Maye has no reason to believe that this is a cop - he was sleeping - why wouldn't he fear he and/or his daughter is threatened? They live in a "bad" neighborhood. I lived in a bad neighborhood for quite a while and would probably use deadly force if someone in black kicked my door in when I was asleep with my son with whom I share a room. I don't have a gun as handy as Mr. Maye but I have practiced getting it and removing the safety lock in past years. I do so no longer but have considered it at times. I do know that I would use any means possible to defend my child in such a circumstance as Cory Maye was placed in when the police mistakenly broke down his door.

Radley Balko has called the circuit court clerk for Jefferson Davis County, Mississippi and while he has yet to read the warrant had the clerk check - she did not see Cory Maye's name on the original warrant that the police were serving when they broke into his house. He had no record. He was a dad defending himself and his child. He has been sentenced to die.

All right folks, Ford has caved to bigoted hate groups - time for a Boycott

2005-12-08T13:57:00.000-08:00

I don't always agree with John Aravosis but he provides an excellent forum for media stories about the right and their abuse of the American way of life. Another reason for my appreciation of John is his commitment to equal rights. He primarily talks about gay rights but he shares in my belief in equal rights for all Americans, and the people of the world. Right now those rights are under fire from yet another corporation - Ford. This attack takes a very interesting form in that Ford has decided that gays don't have the right to be advertised to in gay advocacy formats in the U.S. Also they have decided to stop including open homosexuals in there advertising.

This policy comes after negotiations to end the boycott by the American Family Ass. This story has been picked up by a number of media outlets in recent days. Now I am trying to get into the habit of not posting a lot of links and using this blog as a forum for opinion. I am going to add more links in the side bar so folks can look into the sites and sources I use for news and look into things themselves. In this case however I am kind of ticked - well really ticked.

John mentioned that the Jaguar affiliate of Ford was rather angry with Ford. So when I sent out e-mails to Ford and it's affiliates I was very polite to the folks at Jaguar sending them a even nicer letter than I did the rest of my list. Here is what I wrote to them:

I am sorely dissapointed in Ford's decision to remove Jaguar's advertising from GLBT publications. I have been iffy on Fords in the past but I have bought them - no more. I also hoped that at the point in my life when I could afford one I would own a Jag - I have dreamed of it. If this policy is not reversed I will not even consider it an option any more. I am not yet able to buy a car in that range but I am growing a small business and will within the decade. I realize that one sale lost isn't that big of a deal to you but I pray I am not the only one - and it is rather a big deal to me. Please, pressure the execs at Ford to reconsider this bigoted, hatefull policy - it is beneath you all. And for the record so you understand that this is an issue that effects more than the LGBT community, I am not gay - I just feel very strongly about equality for everyone - including the right to have you trying to sell them cars.

This was their response:

Dear DuWayne Brayton,

Thank you for contacting Jaguar Cars.

We were sorry to learn of your dissatisfaction regarding our projected advertising plans.

Jaguar has decided not to advertise in gay publications in 2006. The decision was taken entirely for business reasons, and reflects a sharpening of our media focus and pressure on our marketing budgets. We have chosen to work with much fewer print title partners across the board next year. For instance, Jaguar will cut the general market print titles it uses from 56 in 2005 to 34 in 2006 (equivalent to a reduction of 40%) and it will reduce automotive enthusiast titles by 25%. Obviously, marketing plans for future years beyond 2006 have not been determined.

Jaguar values diversity among all of our constituents and pride ourselves on strong and clear values – respect for our customers, communities, employees, suppliers and dealers; acceptance of our differences; inclusion of different people with different perspectives; and integrity to always do the right thing. We value all people – regardless of their race, religion, gender, sexual orientation and cultural or physical differences. This is a strong commitment we intend to carry forward with no exception.

We can only hope that, perhaps in the future, you will give us a chance to restore your confidence in Jaguar.

Sincerely,

Colleen Hogan
Jaguar Cars

If you have any questions or require additional information, please feel free to contact us at 1-800-4-JAGUAR, option 9, or by e-mail.

Why are you so angry? you might be thinking. Well, Ford has now admitted that they made this decision based on negotiations with the AFA rather than the claim that they did it for strictly business purposes - before Jaguar sent me this e-mail with Fords previous lie intact.

After I finish writing this poast I will be writing a snail mail letter to Jaguar, letting them know that I do not appreciate being lied to. And I will explain that the only way to get my business - ever will be to change this hateful and bigotted new policy. It is loathsome that they would choose take away the rights of gays to simply be targeted for marketing - not to mention ridiculous. Here is Jaguar's web contact page when e-mailing choose customer relations center as the subject and other as the sub-catagory. This is their snail mail contact which would carry more wieght than e-mail:

Jaguar Cars, Attn: Customer Relationship Center
555 MacArthur Boulevard
Mahwah, NJ 07430-2327

I pray for and thank you for your support in this. Equal rights is the responsability of all of us. This is America, if we deny anyone the right to be who they are we ave all lost it. And keep in mind that equal rights are not special rights they are only the same rights the rest of us enjoy.

Why it's time to leave Iraq

2005-12-07T18:41:00.000-08:00

I have had a lot of conversations about the war in Iraq lately and then heard a soldier's letter to O'riely this evening. The theme I keep getting is that we need to stay - that we are winning. The problem I have is that we are fighting a war against the Iraqi people as a whole - not the insurgents. They want us to leave and stop killing them. Instead of defending them against tyranny we have become the tyranny.

The other them I run into is that if we leave the genocide is just going to start again. This is where the UN needs to step in and help clean up the mess we have made. All that we are going to achieve in Iraq at this point is to keep the Haliburton feeding trough open for business. If we stay Iraq is going to continue to spiral into civil war and disintegrate. If we leave there is a chance that the UN can step in and facilitate that disintegration in such a way that the killing may stop. I am not nieve enough to say this is a certainty but it is better than the alternative - thousands more dead American kids, hundreds of thousands more dead Iraqis and proof to the world that we are a rogue nation.

With the pre-emptive military policies of our current administration we would bomb Iran, bomb Syria and really sink ourselves into an untenable position in the Middle East. The bush regimes policies will only continue to lead to more and more death and instability in the region. We need to say that enough is enough. We need to demand that our "president" pay for his crimes.

I am not saying I am a fan of the Iranian regime. They are ruthless, inhumane, a totalitarian regime that is flat out evil. That does not mean we can just go in and destroy them the way we have Iraq. If we are going to push for regime change in Iran it has to be done considerably differently than we went about it in Iraq. We need to learn from our mistakes and try not to destroy everything in order to remove the current government - one we are responsible for. We may not have put them in power directly but they are there due to our interference installing the previous totalitarian regime. A lot like we installed Saddam in Iraq.

As for attacking Syria - they have new leadership that has yet to get a chance to form a new government. He was educated in the west, by many accounts didn't intend on being the ruler - he got it by default when his brother was killed. I am not going to say he is going to be a savioer to Syria but I think we need to see what is going to happen before we decide to bomb them into submission. The Middle East policies of the bush regime are broken and directly embroiling us into decades of death in that region. . .

A post from the agitator. . .

2005-12-07T18:13:00.000-08:00

I rarely get over to Balko's blog but I noticed this somewhere else and just had to mention it. Yet again we have a victim of the War on Drugs and a broken justice system. This is about a man on death row for shooting a cop. The cop broke into his apartment - the second in a duplex housing a drug dealer. When the officers came in he feared for his 18 month old daughter sleeping in another room. He shot and killed the first person he saw - an officer dressed in assault gear - not identifieing himself as a police officer. This is a sick and twisted case - read it and weep - I did.

To explain my beliefs

2005-12-07T15:36:00.000-08:00

I will cross post this to my other blog as it is what I started it for.

As a Christian I believe it is not my right to judge others - that is God's job. I have a responsability to live my life in accordance to God's word and reflect Christ in me. I must do my best to be the sort of man that makes people want to emulate me. I am not perfect - Lord knows I'm not but I try and usually do reflect the joy and love given me by the Holy Spirit. I know some people who claim the bible renounces homosexuality and those who say it doesn't - that is between a person and God. When a person prays and meditates up[on God's word and allows the Holy Spirit to so fill them that the things of man are washed out of them the Spirit will put upon their hearts what is right.

I do know that the bible tells us that there is no greater sin than to drive a person away from the truth of God. The bible also tells us that greater than hope, greater than faith even is Love. This is what I choose. The best way to drive a person from God is to judge them and foster hatred of them. This is unforgivable as it imperils those who have been pushed away from ever knowing God's love.

Love does not judge. Love does not choose this person over that. Love is unconditional. I am learning to think first of love when people upset me, to pray for them rather than curse them. The more I do this - the moe I truly live love in every way the more the pains and worries of the world slip away - the stronger I feel.

When it comes to secular law I believe that it is just that - secular. When any church interposes it's will on secular law it demeens both the Church Family and society as a whole. God gives us free will to be what we will. When churches force their way into the secular that free will is taken from all and makes us slaves incapable of reaching for ourselves the joy of Christ. I do not believe our nations founders left one theocracy to found another. They went so they might worship in their own way. Worship is between a person and God so too is sin - it is not to be interfered with by our government. . .

I am having issues with spell check - sorry if my spelling isn't up to snuff. . .

2005-12-07T15:26:00.000-08:00

Peter Singer and my own beliefs on Gay marriage. . .

2005-12-07T14:53:00.000-08:00

I recently picked up "The President of Good & Evil" by Princeton proffesor of ethics Peter Singer. I just read the preface to the new edition in which he discusses bush's beliefs on states rights. I have been criticized in another blogs comments for my strong belief in states rights because it was "code" for allowing states to set there own civil rights laws or lack thereof. I would like to address this first. The US constitution clearly puts forth equal rights for all people - it has been interpreted differently but unless you claim certain people aren't people it more than justifies federal civil rights laws. The example Pro. Singer used was bush's initial attitude was that gay marriage was a states issue - but when the Mass. Supreme Court legitamized gay marriage suddenly bush decided to push for a federal constitutional ammendment to define marriage as being between a man and a woman.

I should clarify before I continue that I am a Christian. I also believe in equal rights for all people - not just straight people, not just white people and not just the wealthy. It is my belief that if the federal government were to get into this discussion of gay marriage at all it should be with the attitude that no state should be required to recognize the legal marriages of other states. It has no business defineing mariage at all.

On a state level I believe that the criterea should be one of two things.

1. That for legal purposes any couple seeking the legal bond of marriage and the benifits it offers should be allowed to do so. I was listening to a women who is the child of a gay father. She has talked with many people including children over the years about being the child of gays. A number of children she has spoken to since this debate regained national prominance wer not, until they saw it on the news, aware that their gay parents were not in fact married. There ae over ten million children in this country with same sex parents. What politicians and religious leaders do and say directly effect all of these children. This is not some abstract debate too them - it is their lives being debated.

2. Short of allowing anyone and everyone to marry the State should refuse to legaly recognize any marriage. It is a religious institution and thus should be treated as such. The seperation of church and state is a bullwark of our religiously tolerant society - therefore if marriage should be legaly denied anybody it should be legaly denied to all. Removing marriage to the bounds of non-secular law is the only way this country can claim equality for all peoples. If one wishes to embark upon the institution of marriage it should be up to the church to decide whether that couple should marry - not the state.

I have grown up in a society where the divorce rate is more than half of all marriages. When I hear people talking about defending the sanctity of marriage I retch. Heterosexual couples have done more to destroy the sanctity of marriage than queers ever could. I have spent years swearing off the idea of marriage because I saw it as a joke - produced by straight people. There was no sanctity, it wasn't sacred. I have since decided that I was mistaken. That those who entered marriages so lightly were not truly married. They had the legalities down but it was all a sham. The most distructive force in marriage is in fact the legality of it. It needs to be removed from the legal arena to settle back into the religous arena.

I do believe that anyone wishing what are now the current legal benifits of marriage should be allowed to enter civil unions - even those who have been married by their church. Denying people the legal benifits of a loving relationship is wrong no matter what ther beliefs or sexual preferences. But saying that marriage is the way to achieve those ends is truly the destructive force eating away at the sanctity of marriage.

They took my grandpa off support

2005-12-07T11:59:00.000-08:00

He died at 8:15 pc last night. He was on dialasis when his liver started to fail as well - he would not have survived the night even on support. He was a Christian. . .

I am at a loss on how to explain this to my 3yr old son. He only met him once for a collective 15 hours or so but when we talk about all the people we love his great grandpa always comes up. Strangely enough a few times over the last couple of weeks he has specificly mentioned him during our bedtime prayers. Usualy we are specific about his moma, me and him - the rest of our friends and family are lumped together except where there are specific needs. I hope this is a sign that talking about this will be easier than I am expecting.

Now I am trying to sort out my feelings about this. Though we never realy had a relationship I think I can honestly say that I did love him. I think I saw him a collective 3-4 days in the last 20 years but he was my grandpa and a part of my history. I do regret not knowing him better. When I said he wasn't a good man I miss-spoke. He was a solitary man who held his feelings close in as many in his generation (and even this one) did. And while he wasn't much for expressing his love of others my mom has made clear that he did in fact love us. While I never had the chance to make peace with him in a meaningful way my mom and her sibs did.

My grandpa was a linemen on the Alaskan pipeline. He sent years running over 200 miles of pipe through the Alaskan wilderness. After he retired he ran a small toystore for a few years then went to work in Texas overseeing pipeline construction - after he was forced out he went to work for another union and supervised even more pipeline. I believe he was 78 when they finaly made him retire. He had three pensions from two unions, social security and was either working or trying to find work up until his death.

He was a workaholic who couldn't, well, express his feelings. He was a less than ideal father. He was a less than ideal grandpa. But I shall miss him and regret never truly getting to know him. . .

My grandpa had a massive heartattack last night. . .

2005-12-05T11:56:00.000-08:00

My mom told me the progmosis isn't very good - she's flying out to Pheonix today to be with him.

It gives me a lot of mixed feelings. My grandpa isn't a very good man - he wasn't a good dad nor much of a grandpa either. But he is a part of my history and I haven't ever had the chance to realy know him. I suppose I do love him but he never tried to convince me I should. In fact I don't recall him ever telling me that he loved me.

The thing is I decided a long time ago that I should get to know him - that it was important that I do. Back when I was hitch-hiking the country I thought a few times about visiting him - but I never managed to get to it - even when I was as close as 113 miles from his home - I couldn't be bothered to see him. Now it's likely I will never get that oppertunity.

It is hard to grasp that the oppertunities I have to know and make peace with a few of my family members I am not close to are rapidly slipping away from me. It is upsetting in the least that I have procrastinated with even something this important. It is indicative of my personality that I should do so - and wrong. I hope and pray for the strength and ability to raise my son to be a very different man than myself. Oh sure, I have some great qualities but where do they take me - I live in poverty, I am destroying my body to live this well and I have failures of health due to my own rampant drug and alchohol use as a younger man.

It is amazing that the onset of what will likely be the last few days of a man I hardly know, my grandpa, have opened up a vast panorama of introspection - with an intensity I usualy try to avoid. . .

2005-12-03T15:42:00.000-08:00

There seems to be a problem with word verification - I am disabling it temporarily, hopefuly very temp. . .

mr bush is Trying to Turn America into a Rogue State

2005-12-02T20:41:00.000-08:00

Let me reiterate, the Iraqi government wants us out. They have legitimized the killing of US troops. The bush regimes answer; to call the insurgents terrorists and refuse to leave. bush Has flat out said he will ignore the wishes of the soveriegn Iraqi government, the American people and even members of his own regime - "We will stay the course."

At home he wishes to wittle away at our liberties and privacy, our religious freedoms and rights to due proccess. He is allowing policy to be made by religious fundamentalists and trying to give our tax dollars to religious groups. This makes the US more like Iran than the land of the free and the home of the brave. We just seem to get farther and farther away from the "America" I grew up with in school. . .

Still our "President" insists on his course

2005-12-01T12:54:00.000-08:00

The Iraqi government has legitamized the unsurgency, the American people want us to pull out, Condi said we'll pull out and the Iraqi government is demanding a staged withdrawl - having us out in 2 years. Yet our "great leader" insists we will stay the course. Rummy identifies the insurgents as terrorists - something the Iraqi governement claims is not the case. A whole passel of draft dodgeing cowards call decorated warriors cowards - yet I dare say they would discourage their own kids from going into this war. Funny that, no one in this administration had the courage to go to war themselves but they so easily send our children to fight and die or be maimed, don't want to take care of those wounded and then dare to call those who have been to, sent their children to war and ask that we pull out cowards. In fact they cal seventy some percent of Americans cowards. At least Nixon had the courage to resign in disgrace instead of being forced from office kicking and screaming - mr. bush will likely be the first president of this nation to actualy be removed from office. He truly is the worse president ever.

These are scary times for many states

2005-10-04T22:33:00.000-07:00

I am truly frightened of the directions this country is going. . .On the federal level we are moving through a bad time for the GOP which can only become a good time for this country come mid-term elections especialy if we can bring in more independents and third parties into our legislature. But we musn't lose sight of the fifty state governments in this country. I am sad about the state republican't J. Englre left my home state of Michigan, from whence I came. But I am truly boggled at the Hoosier legislatures attempt to legislate motherhood in the state of Indiana. . .I cannot believe this realy is happening in this country. I can't believe we live in a place in history where one has to wonder whether this law would hold up in court - it just might. These are ominous times - and I have to raise a son in them. . .

Republican lawmakers are drafting new legislation that will make marriage a requirement for motherhood in the state of Indiana, including specific criminal penalties for unmarried women who do become pregnant "by means other than sexual intercourse."

I think we all have a responsability to let people know what we think about a womans right to control her own body. How long until they say, your un-married and pregnant? Well, you just better get married or were gonna take your kid/s. How long until they say, Your not married? No birth control for you. How long till we hear, You are unde arrest for having sex without a marriage license. . .Or, Hey you can't say that about your government!

thanks from the Heretik and Pandagon

Today - I celebrate

2005-09-28T05:10:00.000-07:00

What a way to start the day. . . Tom DeLay indicted. The gop is sinking in it's squalor. Now I can hope and pray that Americans will wake up and decide enough is enough - we must defeat or at least marginalize the republicratic regime that has controled this nation for nearly a century. We need a true and real democracy. With around four billion Americans it should be obvious that two political parties will never be able to represent all of us in a satisfactory manner. This is not democracy - it is voting against the one you dislike the most.

People argue that having so many voices in congress would slow down legislation - I say good idea, these are decisions that effect billions of people - should they be made on the fly? Absolutely not. We got the patriot act on the fly. We got thew war in Iraq on the fly. We did not get a critical reaction to a major natural disaster on the fly. This is because our government has it's priorities screwed up in a major way. They think it should be quick and easy to obscond with liberties it took us 200 years and countless lives to achive but they cannot protect their "constituents" as well as many monarchs in the past would protect their subjects. Hell, there are developing nations that take better care of their people than the "greatest nation in the world."

One might then argue, but this all happened on the Republican'ts watch, the democrats would have done better. I geuss I will admit that Clinton's anti-terrorism bill was less prohibitive that the patriot act but it was still an unforgivable attempt to take away our liberties. And hey, theyt got us a budget surplus, of course instead of really cutting out the pork and graft they just taxed us more. Don't get me wrong, the dems are preferable to the repugs but the truth is we need a real democracy not corporate government.

No government is going to be perfect. Problems will abound no matter who is in charge but if we can grow out of the republicratic form of government we now support a true expieriment in democracy could begin.

sometimes. . .

2005-09-26T02:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just can't believe this is life. There is such an un-reality to everything going on around me. My roles of father, teacher of children in my church, professional handyman and my role as a guy who just does things because they need to be done. I feel like the silent observer - observing even my interactions with others from a disconnect. For sure I feel - am effected by my interactions, but I am yet apart. The closest I feel I broach reality is with my son, but dealing with a 3yr old is it's own un-reality. Yet raising - taking part in a childs life has provided profound insight it defies reason -yet I believe, in large part, it has contributed to / triggered other disconnect.

Why should the feds help with Katrina or Why I'm Fu**ing pissed at Mr. Bush

2005-09-08T15:50:00.000-07:00

Mr. Bush retained the oval office for a second term on his promise to keep Americans safer. He basicaly said "I can do it better than the other guy" - we will never know how Kerry would have fared in this situation - we couldn't. But I am fairly certain that anyone could have. My government takes around 13% of my income - they commit to protecting me. The FEMA Mission is:

FEMA Mission

DISASTER. It strikes anytime, anywhere. It takes many forms -- a hurricane, an earthquake, a tornado, a flood, a fire or a hazardous spill, an act of nature or an act of terrorism. It builds over days or weeks, or hits suddenly, without warning. Every year, millions of Americans face disaster, and its terrifying consequences.

On March 1, 2003, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) became part of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS). FEMA's continuing mission within the new department is to lead the effort to prepare the nation for all hazards and effectively manage federal response and recovery efforts following any national incident. FEMA also initiates proactive mitigation activities, trains first responders, and manages the National Flood Insurance Program and the U.S. Fire Administration.

Here is the President's authority in an emergency:

§ 5170a. GENERAL FEDERAL ASSISTANCE {Sec. 402}

In any major disaster, the President may--

1. direct any Federal agency, with or without reimbursement, to utilize its authorities and the resources granted to it under Federal law (including personnel, equipment, supplies, facilities, and managerial, technical, and advisory services) in support of State and local assistance efforts;

2. coordinate all disaster relief assistance (including voluntary assistance) provided by Federal agencies, private organizations, and State and local governments;

3. provide technical and advisory assistance to affected State and local governments for--
1. the performance of essential community services;
2. issuance of warnings of risks and hazards;
3. public health and safety information, including dissemination of such information;
4. provision of health and safety measures; and
5. management, control, and reduction of immediate threats to public health and safety; and

4. assist State and local governments in the distribution of medicine, food, and other consumable supplies, and emergency assistance.

(Pub. L. 93-288, title IV, § 402, as added Pub. L. 100-707, title I, § 106(a)(3), Nov. 23, 1988, 102 Stat. 4696.)

From

Robert T. Stafford Disaster Relief and Emergency Assistance Act, as amended by Public Law 106-390, October 30, 2000

There are a lkot more documents regarding the feds responsability tyo all Americans and their safety. I am sure that a lot of failures happened on a State and local level as well, but the fact is that the Feds are supposed to take over and coordinate all efforts across the board - instead all FEMA did for four fucking days and longer in instances to hold back the help coming in. They are supposed to asses and act - simultaniously. Chicago made an incredible deal - they would send over 100 police officers, over 140 health care workers, 40 some engineers, 60 some fire and rescue workers. They made the offer the day before Katrina hit - as of Last friday they were allowed to send one tanker truck. Mind you they were going to send these people with their own food and water and a lot to share. They were prepared to send all the equiptment and trucks these people needed to work. A self sufficient force and FEMA told them they weren't needed - we'll call when they need you. My city had fire/rescue people ready to go that Monday - they didn't leave until Sunday. The red cross was kept out by national gaurdsman brandishing weaopons. I could go on - I haven't the stomach to track the links back down but this was all reported by major media - This story was not - but the convention coord. confirmed much of the story as do their companions.

Here is a great timeline of events. Each segment linked to major news agency varification. I'm not terribly keen on Arovois but America blog has a lot of links to major news that Paint a gruesome picture of inneptitude on a scale unthinkable in America, today. . . We are supposed to do try and save lives - that is what my fucking president would do. It is bad enough that they bungled trying to save lives themselves - they prohibited anyone else from helping these people - they told everyone that their help was unneeded - wait for a call. The top three people at FEMA are public relations people, the top man at FEMA lied on his app and was asked to resign his last job - they dont know what the fuck they are doing - they are political appointees who helped Mr. Bush get elected.

These are the same fucking people who are supposed to help any of us who fall victim to catastrophic terrorist attack. We have just seen how they perform. Some tens of thousands dead and dying - and our "leaders" are to busy playing "save my ass" and "damage control" that they still hamper the efforts to save lives. And they tried to ban the media from the scene to bar public criticism. Efforts have also been made to bar democrat's involvment in congressional hearings. Republicans who don't toe the party line and are genuinely pissed are being told to shush by fellow republicant's.

This is supposed to be our government - majority picks em - but they are our leaders. These people have led us to slaughter - while vacationing - and the terrorists now know just how very vulnerable we are. I am afraid. I have no effective government. Some developing nations protect their citizens more thouroghly than this nation does. We the people have been shown that, should it happen to be us, a lot of fucking people gonna die and nobody is likely to save us. Bombs don't neccasarily offer any warning - how would our government deal with hundreds of thousands - even millions trapped in a burning, possibly eradiated city? How would these same people deal with a major bio-weapon attack - thousands - then hundreds of thousands - when do we shutt down all transportation - millions - ????????????

Mr. Bush is Not My President

2005-09-06T17:46:00.000-07:00

I am not sure with what regularity I will be posting. I have been making some profound changes in my life and I have been very busy. In the course of the changes in my life I found some parallel to the disaster wrought in New Orleans and throughout the Gulf States.

I have been, for many years, a Christian. I have been in the midst of a nearly fifteen year crisis of faith. Any who have read some of my very first posts to this blog know part of the reason why. The rest of the reason has been, quite simply, that many who would call themselves Christian regularly engage in activities that caused me to be embarrassed to admit that I am a Christian. I have recently been attending a great church and have renewed my relationship with God.

It fills me with great sorrow that on the eve of my personal renewal of that relationship, I find myself at the loss of another. Mr. Olbermann of CNN put it in words that made me weep, not for the dead, dying and displaced (I have wept for them as well) but for the other victims of Katrina, or more accurately it's aftermath - Americans like Mr. Olbermann and myself. I weep because the President of this nation - is not my president. I weep for what that means. Right now I feel dissasociated from my country in a way I never came close to before. I felt closer to my country at the heights of my drug use and quest to be on the fringe of society. I felt closer sleeping under an overpass in the rain one night while the water that drained onto the ledge I was on soaked me and flowed around me. I felt closer when I was so far into a five week acid binge that I had forgotten my own name.

In my short lifetime this country has never elected a president I would have voted for. I actually still carry some fondness for Reagan the man - not the president - the man. But never have I seen a president I wanted as president. Yet never until now have I ever even thought, "this is not my president." To be sure, none of those presidents had to deal with a major city being destroyed, but I'd like to think that Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush Sr. or Clinton would have, at the very least, been on hand to lead.

Instead we have Mr. Bush who leads us not to safety but to fear. He has proven to this nation and to it's enemies - we are vulnerable - we are without security - we have no leader. Throughout every debacle created by Mr. Bush's regime I have referred to his every error as our error - every travesty committed has been our travesty. But this, this is beyond pale. We do not live in America. Oh sure, geography and semantics say we do, but America does not exist - maybe it never did - nut for the first time in my life I truly fear. I didn't know this fear 10 days ago. We have truly and completely been abandoned by our government. Mr. Bush would like us to believe our government is huge, truly massive - it is not - it has in fact "drowned in a bathtub."

I weep tonight. First for those effected directly, physically by the hurricane. I weep also for the other victims - each of us who used to be Americans - but now have joined the ranks of developing nations. I weep the hardest for my child, for your children who inherit this salted earth.

DuWayne E. Brayton

the world is fiction

2005-07-15T21:16:00.000-07:00

look around - it's wrong it's right it's fucked
can't believe it don't want it won't have it that's enough

tell me - I'm wrong
try to convince me
write me a song
trying to split me

everybody singing - that same old song
making sure everybody knows why they are wrong

turn around
try to awake me
don't know how
cause your sleepin' sound

can't seem to turn my head without a mistake
tell me how much more of this shit can you take

come on down
everybody's sleeping
the parties going strong
close your eyes no peaking

Sorry, computer's having "issues"

2005-07-06T18:48:00.000-07:00

I am sorry about not posting on Dem. Socialism yet. I will get that up asap. My roomates computer has been down and is still not quite right. It took me 13 minutes to get blogger to load. I will get it up as soon as the computer is functional. I have to reconstruct it when I can.

My new blog.

2005-06-26T22:17:00.000-07:00

I have decided to tackle issues I think deserve there own venue. I will be talking about religion and how it/what has effected my life. I would like to welcome any and all to "Smokin' Joints for Jesus" - It is not here to offend, were Jesus looking into my heart, into the sentiment behind that title, he would not be offended. He might even chuckle.

We now admit to torture. . .

2005-06-24T19:33:00.000-07:00

GENEVA (AFP) - Washington has for the first time acknowledged to the United Nations that prisoners have been tortured at US detention centres in Guantanamo Bay, as well as Afghanistan and Iraq, a UN source said.The acknowledgement was made in a report submitted to the UN Committee against Torture, said a member of the ten-person panel, speaking on on condition of anonymity."They are no longer trying to duck this, and have respected their obligation to inform the UN," the Committee member told AFP."They they will have to explain themselves (to the Committee). Nothing should be kept in the dark."UN sources said it was the first time the world body has received such a frank statement on torture from US authorities.--snip--

Via Suburban guerilla via The Heretik

And it comes to light. Not that there was much question of whether it happened/is happening. It is a question of official acknowledgement. We have an administration that has repeatedly lied. I am not talking about lies about infidelity. I am not talking about lies about dirty even criminal political dealing. I am not talking about lies to cover up covert actions gone wrong. I am talking about systemic disinformation that has led to the breakdown of the United States of America and the foundation of our republic. We are not a nation that tortures, withholds the process of law or discriminates based on religion. Yet under the current political regime we are becoming the antithesis of what we were founded upon. Don't get me wrong, America has never been perfect. We have always had a flawed system regularly perverted to commit atrocities on occasion. But never before have we been so flagrantly pushed beyond perversion to outright breakdown. No longer are we dealing with flaws in need of repair. We are instead becoming that which we detest. While we fight a losing battle in Iraq we tell the world that we have no real problems with the genocide in Darfur. We and the UN have implicitly stated to the world at large that we will do little to nothing to stop state sponsored genocide. We will however lie to the world and the American people about why we are putting the lives of our children at risk in war. We will send them to that war ill-equipped and with no planning. We will send them to their slaughter. Yet we cannot and will not fight a winnable, justifiable war.

This is still a democracy. We are responsible for what we do. I am not talking about simply voting. I am talking about fighting the established regime. I am talking about axing the Republicratic system of government we have accepted as status quo and truly be a democracy. The lesser of two evils is not democracy - it's bad policy against bad policy. We need to wake the fuck up and take democracy back.

DuWayne E. Brayton

New revelations - About Me

2005-06-23T12:12:00.000-07:00

I have begun to tire of the mask I have created myself. I have been posting as Treban Lukes, the protagonist in a short story I wrote many years ago. I have done this because I am job seeking and was afraid my occasional radical rants might infringe on my job hunt. I am done with my mask. I have yet to find steady employment - I am no longer concerned that this, my special space, will keep me from a job.

My name is DuWayne Brayton. There I have said it and I feel good for it. I have come to hate what I have come to feel is a deception of sorts. I think most who read here have learned that Treban is a pseudonym - I haven't hidden it - but I still feel its not quite honest. I have in the past tried to be what I am not. A few years ago I realized that I am a man of many experiences and that the reality is plenty exciting enough that the fantasy was really just so much bullshit. I have come lately to feel that the mask I have worn as Treban is a similar construct. A shield to keep people from knowing me. No more.

I am a good man. Not great - but good. I seek to be the reflection of the man I would be proud of my son becoming. I will not hide my candle as it were. I am a radical and I am angry. I am tired of this country representing power more than people. I will not induce change in any reasonable fashion by hiding myself. My name is DuWayne Elvin Brayton and I am angry. My shell has been discarded and I am awake now.

Treban was/is a great man. A man I strive to be. Treban was imprisoned because he felt that the "Utopian" society he resided in was peopled by nothing more than automatons. He felt there had to be more than meaningless work, meaningless recreation, meaningless procreation. He was a deviant and as such was taken apart from society to be "re-educated" - he would not be broken. He was then invited to be a part of the powers that be - he could not help maintain the status quo. He was then killed - he died, a free man. Treban fought to change a system inherently designed to function like a machine. He was a flawed part of the machine - flawed because he felt life was/should be more. He followed the heroes journey and died a martyr. He affected/infected enough cogs in that great social machine that the destruction of them all would destroy the machine.

It is my sincere hope that we all can "awaken." The machine that is America is broken - yet functions on some level. It is time to bring that machine to halt. We need to rebuild the machine. Equality, freedom, liberty are not just clever catchwords. They are the bedrock upon which this republic stands. It is time to repair that foundation before it crumbles to nothing and America becomes an unfortunate footnote in history. We were a great nation - we will be again.
DuWayne E. Brayton

I will post the story in it's entirety if I can find a copy. I wrote it for a class project in the seventh grade and havn't seen it for years. It may in fact be lost. If so I will try to reconstruct it as accurately as possible.

New E-mail

2005-06-15T07:32:00.000-07:00

My new address is duwayne.brayton@gmail.com I look forward to hearing from those who deign to write me.

New Revelations on a Near Daily Basis

2005-06-12T21:47:00.000-07:00

And yet another from The Heretik Joe Ivory Mattingly. More memos more reports and what do we get? Nothing. Except maybe it is something. I just got an e-mail from Shakes sis that nearly half a million have signed congressman Conyers' letter to Bush demanding answers to the questions raised/confirmed by the Downing Street memo. Commercial media is really starting to pick up on this as well. When I was going through Nebraska I read a local paper during dinner and they mentioned the D S memo. Local new here in Portland is giving updates on what is happening with it and it seems the word is spreading even to the reddest of states.

One thing I have learned about middle America is that even though they vote Republican most of the time, they hate being lied to. And when the lies kill off their patriotic children they hate it even more. Yes, it takes a lot to get through to most repugs but when they get bombarded with facts only the thickest don't get it. Throughout my journey I ate at a lot of small town diners and overheard and joined a lot of conversations in which die-hard Bushites were really getting pissed about Dubbya's bullshit. More and more people are getting angry that we are in a new Vietnam who's justifications and spin are floundering out of control.

The reason for this is right here. Not to many folks read my blog but a lot of blogs many with a much wider readership are out there and they are taking on the topics the commercial media avoids and they are forcing them to put out the truth. With Dark Wraith's Blog Scream and The Big Brass Alliance to name just two many voices are joined together and they are getting louder. A chorus that is so loud that people are having to listen. This is our America too and we will not sit idle while the government refuses to represent the masses and only holds for the few special interests. With rallies and protests and hours in front of the computers we will continue to shout for our rights, we will cry out for the downtrodden and the dead and we will not be silenced by threats and intimidation. This is our America too and I for one will not shut up until we all enjoy equality in government and society.

I have been and am very busy getting settled into Portland

2005-06-12T21:32:00.000-07:00

But I am loving it. I have a great roomate (Craig) that I get along with. It's more cooperative than not which is good. I just don't do well with this is mine that's your's neither the twain shall meet kinda bullshit. Caleb loves Craig and his boyfriend Daniel. I also am 90% sure I got a great new job, I find out for sure tomorrow. I have already visited with my old drummer and his wife and daughter. Cay really hit it off with their daughter whos four and wanted to stay and play when it was time to go home. The Pacific Northwest is absolutely gorgeous and I am looking forward to going climbing as soon as possible. I am trying to pick up some side work because even if I got the job I'm about a month away from a paycheck with $50 to my name. It'll all work out though, there are a lot of oppertunities on craigslist so I'm not to worried. C-l has gotten me a job and great roomie so far, so I am confident it will get me even more. I will try and post more often and will be getting back to politics more often than I have lately. I am grateful for the e-mails and comments and support I have gotten from many of you. It has made a difficult situation a little less stressful knowing some of you, whom I've never and probably never will meet in person, actually care about me.

Thank you all,
Treban R. Lukes

I made it to Portland

2005-06-07T22:56:00.000-07:00

I drove 2500 miles since saturday night. My Caleb was very pleased to see me. I have had about six hours of sleep since I left so I will have to post more later.

I am 1,500 miles along 875 left

2005-06-06T12:14:00.000-07:00

Good god is this expensive. Twenty cents a minute. And the keyboard is steel - I'm serious. I have gotten great milage and the trip has been mostly uneventful. I did have some issues with the psycho drivers around Chicago but it was getting late when I went through so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I did run into stopped traffic on I-80 in Iowa. We were stuck for 2.5 hours. A semi had crossed the median (not sure how-it was a steep ditch) and looked like it had landed on top of a car. I wasn't to cranky about it as I am assuming they were trying to save lives. The people/person in the front of the car couldn't have survived, but if there were passengers in the back they might have survived. The semi had a hole in the windshield about the right size for a person to have flown through so they may have saved the driver. All in all a shitty accident by appearances when we finally passed it.

My ex's cat, who traditionally hates vehicles seems to have adjusted quite well, it may just be because I am giving her more attention than she has ha in weeks. I ended up with enough room to put even the futons inside and i still have enough room to stretch out inside. All in all it has gone well thus far.

Last Minute Crisis

2005-06-03T17:28:00.000-07:00

So, I was all set to finish up the last minute bathroom remodel by 11:00, finish the packing, stop at my parent's house in Kalamazoo for a shower, a few hours sleep and a chance to use the computer. I was then going to hit the road about 10:-11:00 pm so I could start the run with no traffic. It was a perfect plan. . .

Then I came home, last night, to the message on the machine. "They denied my food stamp/medicaid case because it is still open in Michigan. You need to find my card and buy $300 in groceries."

Everything I own now fits in about a third of my van. I filled the rest with my ex and Caleb's things. I have taken 3,240 books to the used bookstore I love, (I thought it was about a 1,500 less than that but his guy counted them pretty close) I have given up my TV, (yeah!) I have given up all the peculiar "tresure" my son his mom and I have collected from the side of the road and some of the art projects we did with them. I have given up all my bookshelves, computer desk, futon frame, bikes and virtualy everything else. I own three boxes of books, a computer minus a hard drive, a stunted dvd collection, some clothes, a few special scrap book items and my tools. My ex is down to a few movies a few memorabilia, some art tools, and some clothes and a few books. My son made out the best. He has the most special of his toys, three boxes of books, a mess of clothes and his tools. I am going to strap our futons to the roof of the van. I do not have room to spare for $300 in groceries.

So I spent the better part of the day doing what I needed to deal with it. I got $200 from a friend who was able to spend $200 on groceries and rebuilt a friends well housing in two hours for another hundred. I finished the bathroom and got a call from a friend who heard I needed cash for my food card. He was almost disapointed he couldn't help me with more than the hundred left on the card. I offloaded the last big item (the computer desk) and got everything laid out to load into the van. Then I ran to my parents to see them for a bit and here I am. I have an appointment in the morning to get the rear end diff. lubed and my oil changed again.

On the one hnd I am pissed at my ex for continualy pushing more of the burden for this move on me on nearly a daily basis. I am also kinda pissed that this has resulted in me having to give up more and more of my things. On the other hand I also am glad to have the oppurtunity to be more neccesary to her existence. As for giving up nearly everything I own, I am looking at it as an oppertunity to start over.

I have learned a lot in the last few years. I have developed a network of friends who support each other and work for each other's success. For the first time, i am leaving people who are genuinely upset that I am leaving. I am also going somewhere that quite a few people, including a few I have never met in person, are really glad that I am coming. I have the oppertunity to give up the mistakes I have made up to this point and be the reflection of the man I would be proud if my son becomes. I look forward to contributing to the joy and well being of my friends, new and old. I look forward to making a better living than I have ever made. I look forward to being able to afford to go on vacation, instead of finding some side work for the down time because I can't afford the down time. I look forward to being able to relax and get better when I am ill, because a few sick days arn't going to put us further behind on the bills.

I also look forward to fighting, with words and protest actions for our freedoms. My son deserves a chance to be free. My son deserves his privacy. My son deserves to be able to express himself however he would like. And so do the rest of us. I am tired of hearing, from both the right and the left, that we need to curtail freedom for a modicum of false security. I am tired of hearing that abuse and torture, the stance against we were once famous and envied for, are justified in any way by the circumstances we find ourselves in. Damnit, we are Americans, we are bigger and better than that. We will never back down from who we are! And yet that is exactly what we have done. We spit in the faces of the hundreds of thousands who gave up there lives for our freedom. We pissed on the graves of the founders of this great republic. We are rooting out everything great in this nation and throwing it away so we can pretend the terrorists can't get us now.

Wake the fuck up! We are not an iota safer now than we were when terrorists attacked us. The only result has been to make us less safe from our government. The result has been to lose our freedom. It is time for us to shut up or put up. In that vein I have joined many others in the Big Brass Alliance. I havn't the time now to put up the logo but I will when I reach my new home. I encourage you to add your voice to what could and will become a deafening roar. We must take our country back.

I will be back when I reach my new home,
Treban Richard Lukes

2005-06-01T17:57:00.000-07:00

Wow, I can't pull crap out of my house fast enough. I managed to finaly get a pile by the side of the road without it disapearing before I could get more out there. I have now managed to find a spot for the junk nobody wants and everything else is spoken for. I have had as much help as I can fit in my house and everything I am taking may just fit in the van without my having to build a box to put on my ladder racks. This is good because A. I would have to move one of the racks closer to the other and B. It would add about $70 to $100 in gas due to wind shear. I did have to replace the radiator but I got one at a junk yard for $45 and it only took me 25 minutes to install.

talk about no sleep

2005-05-31T18:09:00.000-07:00

Sorry I havn't been here lately, I literaly have gone from 2.5 hrs of sleep
in 24 to about 2.5 in 48. i don't have a computer at home and I won't until I get
to Portland. Ultimately I don't have time to use it anyway.

I don't know why I get stressed anymore, I know it's all going to
work, it's just all to often unclear how it will. But when I look at the situation
objectively, considering I hover a little below the poverty level, it actually looks
good. My three year old Caleb, loves his mama's new housemate and recently went
on a picnic with my new house mate and while he thinks my roomies great, his mama
was annoyed by him. (the best of both worlds) Also, my place is 1/2 a mile from
my ex's place and ironicly I will be living on MI ave. (I'm moving from MI)

I had hawked my power tools because they were getting really warn and wern't worth
hauling ouit there. Then a friend of mine wanted me to remodel his bathroom, literaly
at the last minute, and I made a deal with him to get new of the power tools most
critical to my kind of work on his 12 month intrest free home depot card. I will
have the money I need to get there and the abilty to do jobs on my own when I get
there. Being able to do jobs on my own may be important since I have been told
by four remodelers that I am overqualified for their needs at this time. Apperently
i'm not enough of a fucking hack for them.

So I leave on Saturday morning, possibly Friday night. I will be driving straight through to the mountains. I plan on taking a nap before I traverse the mountains and hope that will be it. If need be I will sleep more than that (road safety and all that) but I havn't seen Cay in two weeks and it will be nearly three weeks by the time I get there. I'm going into baby (big boy, sorry cay) withdrawl in a big way and Cays going through papa withdrawl so I need to get there quickly.

Hope to get here again before I go, later all.

going going going

2005-05-27T20:04:00.000-07:00

I have a brief moment with a computer. I have had to repair the van I will be traveling out west in. It is a '92 chevy half ton with 250,000 plus miles. I had to replace my transmission coolant lines and the trany filter and seal. I also had to replace my radiator on the roadside today on my way to the last job I am doing before I leave. I have been running around like a chicken with it's head missing. I am down to sleeping about an hour a night trying to get all my stuff thats going ready and get rid of all the shit I;m not. Hopefuly I will be done soon and ready to go by wednsday. I was planning on leaving by monday but so it goes.

2005-05-20T20:31:00.000-07:00

waves break
breaking me
tell me just why it is
over and around and over again
fucking STOP
change
be being been become
become
become
fucking grow
Evolve
expand

EXPLODE

LOVE

BE

2005-05-20T20:28:00.000-07:00

Sainted -
princes - kings - consorts
never understand - pages turn
churn
charnnel house that is history
pasts are haunting us
everafter

Due to lack of computer at home, I also watched Law and Order, you know one of the spinoffs.

2005-05-18T17:39:00.000-07:00

The topics that Law and Order choose to cover sometimes manage to impress me. Even if I disagree with the stance of the writer I give them credit for bringing it up. Last night they really got into it with to very conteraversial episodes in a row. The first brought up end of life issues and the second brought up our broken system of organ donation.

Suicide is a very ugly word and nobody likes to think about or talk about it. When they do, they talk about how horrible it is and how we have to stop it, save people from themselves. There are places where one can be arrested (for there own safety) for attempting to commit suicide. No matter where you are, it is a crime to assist someone with ending there life. In Oregon at least you can now get a prescription for suicide pills, but still no one can aid you in quest to die even there.

I belive in giving people the choice to die when and how they might wish. I belive suicide rates would drop even further if instead of hiding the wish to die for fear of being restricted from that option, they felt comfortable going to someone who would provide counseling and support in deciding if this is really what a person wants to do. If by some chance they decide they still wish to end it they should then be afforded the support and help they might need to end their life comfortably and with dignity.

I do not believe that anyperson should be compelled or pushed into killing themselves. I believe that those who would manipulate anyone into killing themselves should be vigorously prosecuted for murder. I do not belive that someone should be euathanized because they are disabled unless they specify or have previously specified they would not wish to survive some catastrophic trauma. I would like to be euathanized in the event that certain things may happen to my body and brain. I would like to be put out with dignity, not starved or left to drown in my own blood and vomit. I would like an injection of sodium morphate and left to sleep without waking. But in this country that would be illegal.

People cry that this would lead down a slippery slope to involuntary euathanization. Give me a fucking break. I don't hear anyone calling for extermination centers except a few crackpot wingnuts. No rational person wants to kill off the disabled, murder the elderly or infirm. Some of us just want the option of a death of our choosing with dignity. Understand, I am 29 years old and resonably healthy. I don't forsee this being a problem for several years yet, barring an unfortunate accident. I would just like to live to see the day that I am allowed to die the death of my choosing at the time of my choosing.

The other topic on L & O was our broken system of organ donation. But I am out of time on the cafe' computer so it will have to wait.

On Nova Last night.

2005-05-18T17:30:00.000-07:00

It actually was a rather interesting eve. When I turned on the tube I watched NOVA. The topic for the evening was when man actualy made it to the Americas. It has been commonly belived that man didn't make it here until the end of the last ice age about twelve thousand years ago. It seems more and more likely that humans were here as far back as thirty thousand years ago.

Coupled with the recent discovery on a Pacific island, of the remains of a "new" subgroup humanoid, I am getting more and more giddy with excitement at what the future holds for us to discover about the past. I am interested to see what might arise from the mists of time to amaze us about our ancesters.

2005-05-18T17:26:00.000-07:00

You scored as Existentialist. Existentialism emphasizes human capability. There is no greater power interfering with life and thus it is up to us to make things happen. Sometimes considered a negative and depressing world view, your optimism towards human accomplishment is immense. Mankind is condemned to be free and must accept the responsibility.

Existentialist

88%

Materialist

75%

Idealist

69%

Postmodernist

63%

Cultural Creative

56%

Modernist

31%

Romanticist

25%

Fundamentalist

What is Your World View? (corrected...hopefully)
created with QuizFarm.com

I found this via Majikthise

Aquaria and our fight for reproductive rights

2005-05-14T19:12:00.000-07:00

I was reminded today, by the Heretik, of Aquaria's Blog "Raging PMS." When I first discovered blogging, I was referred to her blog because I had misspelled my name (Treann) and someone assumed I was a women. I am in fact sans uterus. That does not mean I should not have been referred to Aquaria's bit of cyberspace. Indeed anyone who values our reproductive rights should check it out. One of my earliest posts was the result of Raging PMS and a few others I got to from there. This post explains why I feel it is important to fight for our reproductive rights. Today I want to talk about the danger those rights are in and why it is more important than ever to fight even harder for them.

On several fronts, our congress, the president and his judicial nominees would see America's women and girls become little more than baby factories. They push an abstinence only education approach that has been shown to fail. They push to overturn Roe V Wade to keep unwanted fetuses around to become unwanted children. They chip away at education for the poor, unless they join the military. They are pushing towards a transient work force, unprotected by OSHA regulations, left unprotected by the courts if they are injured. Gods, I know this sounds so crackpot and I wish that it was. They want nothing less than to have a large percentage of the population to get paid with the tax dollars of the rest of us on the bottom to fight in our wars and then come home to keep the rest of us in line. And what better person to fit the bill than an unwanted, unaborted child. With parents or a parent or the state not caring for them what better way to affirm their own value than being placed into a position of authority, such as the military, the police or any number of security forces, at home and abroad. Unemployment and underemployment are going through the roof. What other options are there but transient labor or the armed forces. As unemployment rises so does crime and that means more jobs for police officers, at least for municipalities able to afford them.

Of course when you strip away all of these other layers of the issue you come to the heart of the matter, the women or girl. The potential mother. The human being, who is dealing with conflicting emotions, guilt, hormonal changes wrought by the invader in their womb, possible rape or assault issues. Who the fuck gave anyone the right to invade that place and tell this human they have no choice, they must allow this child into the world and they must keep it, unwanted, they must give it to the state or they must give it to someone else, someone who may do horrible things to it. (of course the states don't give 'em much of a start either) This is unacceptable.

I have said it before and will again and again, I don't like abortion. I doubt anybody does. Abortion doctors don't like abortion. Planned parenthood workers don't like abortion. Conservatives don't like abortion. Liberals don't like abortion. Lesbians don't like abortion. But many of us feel it is important to maintain the right to have one should it become necessary. I will be as happy as can be when abortion is eradicated. I will dance and sing when AIDS and other STDs are eliminated. I will be tickled to Tuesday when this conversation is but a footnote in history because everyone who chooses to have sex does so safely and with family planning in mind. (Beth, this is what Planned Parenthood does) Until that day we all, every fucking one of us, needs to fight for our reproductive rights.

Aquaria, I want to thank you again for helping open my eyes to this all important issue.

The Heretik - the poetic mind

2005-05-07T02:58:00.000-07:00

The Heretik Joe Ivory Mattingly reminds me that the venue of expression I have here provides a freedom I don't have in the world of man. I'm not terribly insane but I often feel the need to repress thoughts and ideas I have for fear of people thinking I am mostly insane. But here very few people who know me know I'm also Treban. I want to thank the Heretik for reminding me of the freedom I have to be.

Stop - go
below I like to be
be me? I wonder what the wonderins' like
wandering

don't ask don't tell me
believe me u don't want to know
I know - I know\don't you

Stop - flow
under the underside of light
life
don't believe anything - everything

My "Old Man" Hands

2005-05-03T21:51:00.000-07:00

So after my depressing news this morning, I was given a unintentional compliment that in a very odd way made me feel really good. I went to lunch at the same place I've gone the last few days. I work in construction so I go to a lot of different places, whatever is close to the job. Anyway, I was waiting for my sandwich when a young woman sat down by me and was apparently checking me out (I used to be a pretty-boy before ten years of working outside most of the time) when she spied my hands. At that point she crinkled her nose into something of a scowl and said, "Ewww, you have old man hands." I looked down at my scarred, weather beaten hands and after a moment I nodded my head and said "thank you." She really scowled at that and replied "I didn't mean it as a compliment." I just smiled, nodded and got my sandwitch and left.

After I got everyone going on their various tasks and got back to work myself I thought about my hands. I thought about the scars some temporary a few that are permanent, I thought about the lines etched by wind and hard labor. I thought about what the scars and lines present. They represent finish work in a number of houses. They represent the painting I've done. They represent the handyman work I've done, often at a discount because being poor I have a hard time charging a lot for poor people. (unfortunately why I'm no longer self employed) They represent the houses I've sealed from the elements. They represent the plumbing in a few houses now. They represent the challenges I've faced and overcome on the job.

I would like to do something more meaningful with my life to be sure, but I still take a lot of pride in my craftmanship. I have brought beauty on occasion, often just utilitarian necessity. I am and will always be proud of my "old man hands."

Most unfortunate news

2005-05-03T02:56:00.000-07:00

I originally hail from Kalamazoo MI. If you are from MI you may recognize that K-zoo is one of those progressive municipalities that has extended domestic partner benefits to lgbt's. You would also be aware MI passed a constitutional amendment to define marriage to exclude same sex couples causing those municipalities that recognize lgbt relationships and have extended benefits to face legal action if they don't stop.

I found out this morning that my friend Peg who is a minority contractor who gets about 2/3 of her work from various municipalities and other government entities now faces similar court battles. Peg is an exceptional contractor who does not discriminate. She employs only those best qualified to do the job regardless of race, sex or sexual preference. She also has a policy of providing benefits to all her employees and their partners whether they are married or not. She has managed to build the business she has because she produces exceptional results.

Peggy is now involved in the same legal action as many municipalities that don't want to refrain from providing domestic partner benefits. Mind you this includes hetero couples who are not married. If she is unable to win her court battle, at best she will have to downsize, more likely she will lose her business.

I have had occasion to work for Peg when she needed someone to run a crew for her. The people she employs are some of the most exceptional people I have had the pleasure of working with. I had not worked with so many women who could really work successful in the building trades. What I discovered is that a lot of "traditional roles" for women, when carried over into the construction site can make for exemplary work. Every woman who works for Peg has a fastidious attention to detail that makes them great finishers. Also Peggy has no room for "dead weight" on her crews, every one of her supervisors are also laborers. I am in that position at the company I work for. I have noticed that the women, especially those with kids seem to find it a lot less stressful than I do. Believe me it is extremely hard to work and supervise at the same time and yet women seem to do it effortlessly. In fact of the eleven crews she employs only one of them is run by a hetero male.

NOTE:
I have changed the name of my contractor friend. As I post under a pseudonym for business reasons I did not think it wise to expose "Peg" to further potential problems as she has plenty all ready.

Rather like I feel when I go for my "surreal hours walks"

2005-05-01T01:41:00.000-07:00

My surreal, paranoid time is especialy dark now as I am fourty-six hours without sleep again. I sit alone at four am melancholy voices singing with mine, mine with them. I can hear an angel telling me, I just have to believe.

I can feel a lover leaving me, find my simple peace. I tried again to remember, just what is believing for. I tried again to tell myself, open up another door.

My mind wanders past my own distress, out into the world of men. My fragile psychy shatters agianst the wieght, now I put it back together again.

Just try to convince me, everything will be all right. The masters of my solitude, building bigger castles inside.

Shouting out for freedom, from the tyranny of mind. Crying in the desert, for the justices of time.

The simple peace that follows, the simple love that fills my life. Beaten down and broken, from these ashes I arise.

Here is where I ended up. . . . .

And still they die in Darfur

2005-04-30T12:37:00.000-07:00

Imagine, being betrayed by your own government. Imagine, fearing your children will be raped to death. Imagine, starving and trying to find water that hasn't been poisoned. Imagine, waiting to die of diseases preventable and treatable.

That is what millions (if there are that many left alive) are experiencing right now while I sit here enjoying my coffee and a delightful afternoon of comments and opinions on a number of blogs. I truly cannot understand why we let this continue. Oh to be sure there are a number of plans, resolutions and great ideas that have amounted to nothing more than retribution from the janjaweed militias and more death. For more than two years and over four hundred thousand dead this atrocity has continued and by all appearances it will continue until there is no one left to kill. There is no such thing as a culture of life in a society who swore this would never happen again and yet has allowed it in Darfur, in Rwanda and in the hearts of those who could stop it but choose instead to hope it just goes away.

Shame, shame on us who call humans superior to "lower mammals," I dare say no other creature on this planet would ever engage in something as obscene as what us humans are capable.

Continued @ 12:30 PM
Thanks elayne

We live in scary times. Or maybe all times have been scary. After all, it happened in Rwanda and nothing was done to stop it. I find it incredibly depressing that none of the institutions I grew up believing in actually exist. The church I grew up in was rife with hypocrisy, the America I learned about in school doesn't exist. Instead the ownership class has taken the religious right in tow and decided that they would convince them to go against every tenet of the bible. The religious right has been duped into promoting a society that is the antithesis of biblical principal. They claim some "culture of life" and yet they deny health care to an increasing number of Americans, they lower the prevailing wage (it doesn't keep up with inflation} and they let all these people fucking die. They allow fucking obscene atrocities that have made my insomnia worse by far than it has ever been because I can't help thinking, while I lay there trying to sleep in my relatively comfortable bed, that RIGHT FUCKING NOW there are countless lives contemplating their demise at the hands of their own government.

I've always been the optimist, believing, or choosing to believe that humanity can grow out of this. But lately I really wonder. How can we be here in these times, in this place and say ah, I can see the way for humans to evolve and grow as a race.

I weep. I weep for my son who inherits this damned earth. I weep for the children of Darfur who inherit nothing, instead to die, to die in horror so obscene it literally hurts just to imagine. Fucking children for christ sake. I weep for me as I try to make sense of a world gone mad with the expansion of my own awareness. I weep for the mothers and fathers of Darfur, the helpless fear, anger, horror of watching their children and partners die along side them. I weep for a human race that would allow this to happen over and over again.

A life of love, growth and the expansion of human potential

2005-04-30T08:50:00.000-07:00

So I spent much of last night involved in an interesting discussion at Shakespears Sister about freedom of speech at blogs. I just have to say that I don't believe that most rightwing blogs have many compunctions about banning folks they don't agree with from commenting on their blogs and yet SS has been lamblasted for doing that to someone I would have banned without compuncion. It is ridiculous to assume that because someone believes in free speech they should put up with abusive people who have no interest in respectful dissembling of their own beliefs.

I don't have a lot of patience for labels, I believe they are mildly inaccurate at best, grossly misleading most of the time. If I were to be labeled though, I expect I would prefer to be called a moderate anarchist. I really figure people should be and not be bothered for being. The main problem with labels is they become a divider to segment people away from each other. What the hell is the point of that. We are human beings, we should learn to get along, accept and celebrate our differences. We have to live together anyways why not enjoy it.

I have no time or patience for people who just want to bring others down. If you don't have a desire to grow and contribute to the growth of others then there is really no point in talking to you. If on the other hand you are open to others and willing to engage others for the edification of everyone involved you give life, the very concept of, meaning. People don't always agree, it really isn't necessary, but there is no excuse for bashing others because of what they believe. I have found no one whom I always agree with. I can also get quite riled about a variety of issues that I feel strongly about but I chose long ago to attempt to never bring others down through my words and actions. I am human which means I am not always successful at this but I have found that I am surrounded by people who love me and even those who disagree with me on most everything respect me because I respect them. I can't imagine life without the love I share with my friends and others.

The New Deal - they want to repeal

2005-04-29T03:56:00.000-07:00

I thought the President's press conference tonight seemed contrary to what you are saying here, that he would want the judiciary to overturn the New Deal.
April 29, 2005 2:11 AM

The beauty of using the judicial nominees to further the neo-con agenda is that the politicians can wash their hands of the whole thing and let it be blamed on the activist judiciary. They can even then turn around and use such extreme measures by the judiciary as an excuse to reign in the judiciary. That is exactly what Bill Frist, Tom DeLay and John Conryn would like to see happen.

As for the desire to repeal the new deal one only needs to look at the judicial nominees to see the agenda behind them. Here are a few links about these nominees, more to follow:

http://www.pfaw.org/pfaw/general/default.aspx?oid=13523#1

That President Bush nominates conservatives to the bench is no surprise. But, Brown, Claude Allen, and Charles Pickering have spent their careers on the radical edge of the right wing. Brown is an outspoken supporter of a return to a pre-New Deal thats Franklin Roosevelt perspective of the law. For those who dont want to dwell in the first third of the last century, that should be frightening. She argues that America has become a nation of whiners and that policymakers are handing out new rights like lollipops in the dentists office.

http://saveourcourts.civilrights.org/the_facts/bush_noms.html

I will be happy to find some more evidence of what the neo-con agenda really is but it may take a few days because I have a lot to do. The key is not what Bush says it is what he doesn't need to say because he has judicial nominees to do it for him. When you take that into account it's really a scary picture. And like I said this way they can have their cake and eat it too because their hands are clean.

My Books, oh, my books

2005-04-26T17:47:00.000-07:00

I am having a very difficult evening. I am getting ready to move in about five weeks. By far, most of what I own is my book collection. We have an estimated 3,500 books between my son, his mother and I. I am now going throhg what Amy (Cay's mama) is leaving behind of hers, all of mine and most of Caleb's. I really enjoy my book collection. I really, really enjoy my book collection. I am only taking about five maybe six hundred books with me. The thing is we have weeded through the book collection several times over the past two years and while we have a steady flow of brain candy through the house we have also weeded our core collection. I am not enjoying letting go of all these fucking books. I don't want to but I must.

The positive things about the situation is that a. when I get to Portland I will have a book collection that only contains really great books and b. Portland boasts the largest used book store in the country. But I'm still really bummed out. And by the way so is Caleb.

A long overdue post for Prudence - or why Caleb is so neat

2005-04-25T05:26:00.000-07:00

I will preface this by saying while I don't think it makes that much of a difference for a child's potential empathy, as we have been preparing to start his formal education we have had rudimentary intelligence testing done. The estimate places him at what is called "exceptional" in lu of an actual digit i.q.

Since even before he was born, Caleb has been the recipient of conversations, tirades and all manner verbal expulsions. His mama and I have talked to him incessantly his whole short life. We have also read to him from the point that his eyes were first able to focus on the pages in books. To say he has become an able communicator is a major understatement. He didn't start talking until he was about 13 months old but when he did he started right off the bat with rudimentary sentences that always managed to convey what he meant. I theorize that he didn't want to attempt speech until he had a firm grasp on how it all fit together. This theory is supported my the fact that on occasions when he was left in a room alone one would often here him experimenting with the formation of words, but never when anyone was in the room with him.

We have also always made it quite clear how much he is loved. He enjoys nothing quite so much as going through the litany of those who love him and who he loves. Part and parcel in that is the fact that he is the most important person in our lives and we never let an opportunity go by to let him know that. We also make it clear that what he says and does are of the highest order of importance to us. He matters and he knows that.

A case in point is the house we are getting ready to move out of. (we are moving 3,000 miles away to Portland OR) When we moved in we had a hose connected to the water main. We had to flush the toilet by filling a bucket and pouring it into the toilet. I made a deal with my landlord/close friends that we would work on this house and a few others to cover our rent. From the get go Caleb was encouraged to help and we made it clear that any help he gave was helping to keep a roof over his head. In effect he knew that what he did directly contributed to our living and what he did was important to all of us. I have never hesitated to punish him when it is warranted, in fact I am rather strict with him. But I also take every opportunity to praise him when he uses particularly good behavior or decides he wants to help and does a good job. (occasionally his desire to help is trumped by his desire not to listen - I do not put up with such behavior) To me it is of the utmost importance that Caleb understand that what he does is important to his mama and I.

Over the last ten months we have also started a new system of story telling. For every story I tell him he must tell me one. Over the last couple of months I have begun requiring his stories have a rudimentary plot and some sort of climactic ending. I in turn, tell him stories about a variety of neat people who have done good things for others. If he has been behaving well or has done something exceptionally cool I tell him his favorite stories, which are about a big boy named Caleb. They take place anywhere between age 7 to 15 and in those stories Caleb goes mountain climbing, camping, plays songs with papa or his friends, goes to school or does really nice things for other people. I have been telling him these sorts of stories since he was born (a few before) but then I thought one day that I would like to know what sorts of stories he might tell. His stories are very thematic they almost always involve semi-animate construction machines and either a dragon or a giant spider. Usually the dragon or spider break a building or road or some cars and then it turns out that it's all ok and everyone is happy.

I would like to say that his mama and I are responsible for how sweet Caleb is but a lot of times it is in spite of us. We don't fight in front of him often but on occasion we do, more important is the fact that we don't like each other. When we move out west we will be separating which is a good thing and I hope he will be even happier when mama and papa aren't miserable from their proximity.

No, really I'm not a liberal.

2005-04-23T00:21:00.000-07:00

I realized after reading a post by Eric at Fear of Clowns accusing Prudence of being a liberal rather than the "compassionate conservative" she prefers that anyone reading my blog would probably assume I am a liberal. For the same reason I would have to argue that Prudence is in fact a conservative I would argue I am not a liberal. It has nothing to do with our respective opinions on a lot of social and political issues. It is founded in our respective mind sets.

I will briefly explain my argument for Prudence being a conservative. Prudence is a conciencious Catholic. Her ego or self has been strongly influenced by church doctrine and founded in biblical principles. From this foundation she looks at herself, who she is, what she believes in from a perspective only she (and her God) can judge. Only she can see what the motivations are for her stance on any issue and from that perspective she sees herself as conservative.

I can explain this better from my own perspective. I am (if I really must be labeled) a humanist who's ego is founded in biblical principle. (ie I really think the bible has profound and important things to say but really can't call myself a christian) I am pro human plain and simple. I believe in a number of "liberal" causes but my motivation is generally pragmatic. I also happen to believe in a few conservative causes. (guns for one)

The best way to explain myself is to give an example:
I am an ardent environmentalist. This is not because I want to save the planet for the planets sake. I have a book about the history of the geology of the earth. In the front there is a spiral graph that shows the various stages of life and unlife on earth. It goes back 4 to 15 Billion years. (science has a hard time dating back that far, the further back you go the less sure dating becomes) two thirds of the spiral is prelife then after you get through to life most of the spiral is pre life as we know it. Life as we know it is represented as an infinitesimal sliver at the very end of the spiral. The Jurassic period is about four or five times bigger. By the time you get to life on this planet as we would recognize it there is only a tiny sliver you can barely percieve. from the point we climbed out of the trees till now isn't even a drop in the bucket in regards to the history of this planet. So when it comes to environmentalism on a planetary scale it really matters not a whit what we do to the planet. I am an environmentalist because I would like the planet to remain habitable to humans for as long as possible. My motivation is pragmatic rather than the traditional liberal save the planet for the planets sake.

Personally I believe labels in general are at best partially inaccurate and usually are just plain misleading. When one attempts to label others they will always be limited to what they observe. The only person who can see into the heart of the one being labeled is that person.

Bush / Dean?

2005-04-23T00:10:00.000-07:00

Eric Seymour at In The Angora makes a good (if rather snide) point about Howard Dean's stupid impression of Rush Limbaugh snorting cocaine while speaking at a fundraiser for the ACLU in MN last wednsday. He is even quoted as admitting he's not very dignified. Then in the comments someone who seemed to be trying to defend Dean brought up a stupid comment that Bush had made at one point, I really wouldn't call it smart to defend somone with a Bush comparison but hey let's go with it.

The best way to compare Bush and Dean for me is that neither seems to know when to keep there mouth shut. Although Dean doesn't seem quite as stupid as Bush every time he says something unscripted I don't think either man is really qualified for their current positions. I won't go into the legion of other reasons Bush in unqualified to be the U.S. president as it's not the appropriate venue.

People in important representative positions don't have the luxury putting their emotions ahead of their responsibilities. They need to watch every word that comes out of their mouth, those they represent are judged by their words. Bush, who claims to represent the American people, lacks even a semblance of eloquence. He also seems to be inexcusably uninformed. While Dean's style and demeanor would be more appropriate to an old fashioned tent revival than a major representative of the democratic party. And his sophomoric drug poke at Limbaugh only drop him down to Limbaughs level.

Personally I like to rant. It kind of makes me feel good. But of course I'm just a high school drop out who works in construction. I'm neither liberal nor conservative, (I doubt I'll really bring down the staunchly moderates)I'm not a republicrat, in fact I represent nobody but myself so it's ok for me to rant. It's even ok for me to say Rush is a juvenile, simian jackass with no redeeming qualities. It reflects on me and me alone. Anyone who represents others on the other hand has a responsibility to consider those they represent every time they open their mouths especial in public. At that both Bush and Dean fail miserably.

And another judiciary post, from Brad Plumer @ MoJo

2005-04-18T23:17:00.000-07:00

You know what I find rather frightening, since the republican talk of eliminating the filibuster seems to be waning, republican talk of holding our judiciary accountable to congress seems to be on the rise. Somehow they seem to have decided that if they can't appoint the activist judges they want they should just dismantle our system of government. What I find really scary is that those (albeit few at the moment) voices in our government who are talking about this are the types who would be likely to pursue the scenario I posted here.

Judicial Activism/Judicial Restraint

2005-04-18T22:57:00.000-07:00

Between this post and the attached comments alone I have seen judicial activism defined in various shades from meaning when a judge actively strikes down a law because they believe it to be non constitutional across the spectrum to when a judge does not strike down a law which is blatantly non constitutional. In fact in the long essay by Sowell one will find, rather than a definition of judicial activism, an attempt to obscure the definition.

"Judicial activism" and "judicial restraint" raise logically obvious but often ignored questions: Activism toward what? Restraint toward what? Are judges deemed to be activist or restrained toward (1) the current popular majority, (2) the legislature representing the current popular majority, (3) the statutes passed by present or past legislatures, (4) the acts of current of past executive or administrative agencies, (5) the meaning of the words in the Constitution, (6) the principles or purposes of those who wrote the Constitution, or (7) the legal precedents established by previous judicial interpretations of the Constitution?

One would think an essay posing such questions at the beginning might try to clarify. But instead Sowell seems to at turns support then decry each of the above points. Makes me wonder why the hell I wasted 20 minutes reading a meaningless essay that doesn't provide even Sowell's own opinion on what judicial activism means.

I do find it amusing that most of these "liberal" activist judges the right is whining about are in fact republican appointees. In fact 94 of the 162 federal judges are republican appointees. Now I'm not a lawyer (actually I'm a highschool drop out who works construction) but even I can see through this rhetoric to the core problem. It's not the "liberal" judicial activists that the right is worried about. It's the supposed shortage of "conservative" activist judges. But that doesn't really define the problem either. I know folks who would argue for example that denying homosexuals the right to get married is un-constitutional, yet the courts have always ruled against allowing same sex couples to be legally married.

The real problem lays in the fact that the right wants judges who will overturn more than 70 years of legislation. They want to be rid of minimum wages, environmental legislation, the 40 hour work week, social security, OSHA's workplace safety regulations and a host of other laws that most Americans take for granted and have no idea could possibly be in jeopardy. The same logic that calls for regress back to the '30s would also have to repeal child labor laws. I think most people would agree having orphans working in sweatshop firetraps instead of going to school is insane. Of course that same logic would pretty much need to abolish public schools so we might as well find something for the little tykes to do. I know it sounds so very Charles Dickens but hey, that's what we had before these laws were past.

Big Brothers Alive and Well

2005-04-18T04:46:00.000-07:00

Big brother is in fact alive and well in the twenty-first century. I have to admit though that RFID chips scare me more than a "black box" for cars. CASPIAN shows us what in my mind is the least frightening use for them, (though, it is pretty scary) product placement. Wired talks about the use of RFID chips in personal documents and passports. Slate magazine and NPR's talked about this last November. Veri Chip is developing a subcutaneous RFID transmitter that could be tracked by satellite. Now the theory is this could greatly enhance efforts of law enforcement to find children of others who have disappeared or been kidnapped. Realistically this means instead of tracking your car they could find you with a satellite and watch you from such a distance that you couldn't possibly know your being surveiled.

With "traffic" cameras going up at an accelerated rate, (Georgia even calls then what they really are) and satellites providing ever more detailed images of what they see on this planets surface, we really are moving at a rapid clip towards Orwell's dystopian nightmare. At this time the technology exists to watch people from space and track their movements all over the planets surface. Three satellites is all it takes to see the entire planet's surface and there are thousands of satellites in orbit right now.

Even just a decade ago this conversation would have been relegated to a few crackpots and crazed conspiracy theorists, but with the advent of the war on terror it's reality. Our civil rights have reached new lows and there are newer and better methods for watching all of us. Really kind of makes you miss the days when you could just smile and nod at a person purporting whacked out theories about being followed by the government, I know I do.

Yet more bullshit from the pharma industry

2005-04-17T13:24:00.000-07:00

Majikthise reports yet more corruption involving big pharma here. Apparently, a Pennsylvania state official was accepting money from a drug maker and other outside sources. Another fine example of the people who's job is to make sure our medicines are safe taking money from the companies who make our medicines.
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I do believe that the FDA needed an overhaul to move more quickly on getting drugs to market, but shit, it would have been nice if the legislature hadn't completely castrated them. Apparently our legislature thought it should be all or nothing. Of course it helped that big pharma helped to overhaul the FDA. The regulations involving an investigators dispensation of reports requires they file it with the drug's sponsor, not with the FDA. The drug sponsor is then supposed to be sent to the FDA but remarkably they don't always seem to get there. Section 21 of the CFR (Code of Federal Regulations) explains that the drug sponsors are required to disclose which investigators are the sponsors employees. They also have to disclose which are not but as the investigative bodies are hired by the drug sponsor in effect everyone investigating the safety of new drugs are employed by the sponsor or manufacturer of the drug.

So now more than ever I am depending on the "twigs & roots" approach to medicine. Not only is plant medicine generally more affordable (though a lot of work if you extract, tincture or otherwise prepare yourself) it is also often safer and causes less adverse side effects. In many plants, from which our "modern" pharmaceuticals are derived, there are chemicals other than the desired medicine. Often these chemicals can be instrumental in alleviating negative side effects. There are a number of drugs in fact that come with a companion drug, derived from the same plant that will alieve some side effects of the original drug.

I happen to be blessed with a doctor who is happy to discuss plant options and the ability to make plant meds. I also have researched a lot of the companies that manufacture plant meds and have a good idea what the potency and quality of many on shelf plant meds really are. Most people are not so lucky. Self diagnose and medicating can be very dangerous. Using plant medicines does not mean one should avoid going to the doctor at all, this can be extremely dangerous even fatal in some situations. But it would be good to see more doctors concerned more about their patients than they are with pandering to big pharma.

Just what might happen if congress controls the court

2005-04-17T00:42:00.000-07:00

Since becoming aware of the growing grassroots movement to dismantle our country by holding our independent judiciary accountable to congress I began looking into accusations of judicial activism. I discovered that conservatives hold no monopoly on that phrase. In fact, it seems to be used as often by the left as it is by the right.

This phenomenon seems pretty indicative of the health of our system of checks and balances and the judiciaries role in it. The judiciaries role is to, objectively, weigh legislation against the constitution and decide if it measures up. Now I realize that absolute objectivity is about as attainable as absolute perfection. But to be able to piss off most everyone, sometimes on the same issue, the judiciary as a body has to be doing an admirable job. The selection process (under fire by the political wing of the religious right) ensures that most judges given seats on the higher courts are known for setting aside their personal prejudice and hand down rulings based on the rule of law defined in our constitution. It is not an absolutely perfect system. Life would be awfully dull if we had one. But our independent judiciary is an intregal part of the system we have. Personally I think our system is a quite preferable to the one in say, Iran. Yet if congress manages to "reign in" our judiciary we could conceivably get just that.

Lets imagine for a moment, America with a congress able to overrule the supreme court. The house introduces legislation that would extend the terms of office for our elected officials indefinitely for the duration of a national emergency, say the war on terror. It passes with a simple majority then breezes through the senate to be signed by the president. Of course it ends up in court and when the court rules to the negative the judges are removed/overruled. Soon new legislation is introduced, in the interest of unity in government, that those in the legislature who to often dissent from the majority should be replaced by those who can be more agreeable. Thereafter the U.S. could be molded into a theocracy to rival the wildest ambitions of Kahmenei. The "best" possible outcome of the aforementioned scenario is all out civil war.
I realize this seems an entirely unlikely scenario but it is one of many possibilities if we have an accountable judiciary. And at a time when 78% of highschool students poled believed that journalism should be government approved it doesn't seem nearly as implausible as it would have a decade ago.

The potential for abuse is staggering. The courts are and always have been the last line of defense against tyrannical government. The courts are and always have been the third and arguably the most important check in our system of government. I don't always agree with the courts, no one will always agree with their rulings. If suddenly one group of people were able to agree with the courts it would in fact signal a major breakdown in the system. It would in fact mean that the courts were no longer objective and impartial. So those who would dismantle our better than two hundred year old system need to think long and hard about exactly what that would mean.

Favorite Authors/my early heros

2005-04-14T00:24:00.000-07:00

A recent e-mail from Eric, http://fearofclowns.com/ made me realize that I neglected several authors in my profile. I don't often think of one of my very first heroes as an author but Bill Moyers as well as being / having been one of the most important journalists of our time (mostly on television) has also written several books.

My very first hero was Carl Sagan. I went to see him speak twice. The first time I was nine, at that time I picked up a little from the talk but became infinitely interested in the cosmos because of the great pictures. The second time I was eleven and that's when he became my hero. I watched "Cosmos" before my dad and I went and had prepared a list of questions for the q&a.
Dr.Sagan answered all six of the questions I had in his presentation but I came up with a few more and when I got to asking him I warranted a blurb in the Detroit Free Press to the effect of "watch out Magic, Sagans the new hero" because I told Dr.Sagan he was my hero. And he was and still is. He made a clear enough lecture that I came out with a firm, laymens understanding of celestial mechanics.

When I was twelve I had a class project about myths. The topic I chose was the hero journey. I used "The Power Of Myth" as my main source. In it Bill Moyers interviewed Joseph Campbell. I have read Campbell and found him relatively dry and dull, but Bill managed to format a brilliant interview in which he made Campbell's work come alive.

I also read Orwell's 1984 that year (I actually first found that copy in 1984 but it was a little to heavy when I was 8) which led me to attempt to tackle Thomas Moore's "Utopia" with only moderate success. Then six months later I read Huxley's "Brave New World." I then wrote a paper entitled "The Anti-Utopian Novel - A modern fable" for my seventh grade english class. I knew nothing about Aldous Huxley at the time and even less about Orwell. The premise of my paper was that the social warning about the likely consequence of the "ideal society" would be the loss of the "sacred experience." I hypothized that both Orwell and Huxley were in fact writing a defense for Christianity. I got a D. My seventh grade english teacher marked me down for making up a word in the title, then basically told me I was wrong. She was a fundy and I think she mistakenly thought I was bashing Christians.

Reading Huxley's "Heaven and Hell" and "The Doors of Perception" at fourteen naturally led me to investigate mescaline. I knew less than nothing about hallucinogens and didn't firgure out for over a year that this and the psilocybin mushrooms I actually managed to get were in the same category as the stickers that had LSD on them that we heard about on the 700 Club. I had a friend in my first hour english class who lived on a small farm and who cultivated mushrooms in one of the barns. (his parents were hippies) I ate shrooms once or twice a week for nearly six months when I was fifteen. Then that same friend offered me some acid which freaked me out. It hadn't occurred to me that this was a bad thing, that it could be considered drug use. I had smoked pot before that but I had asked god's forgiveness. It simply hadn't occurred to me that what I had experienced on mushrooms might be sinful but I knew that LSD was cause good old buddies Pat and Ben had told me it was so and we even prayed for those caught in trap of drug addiction. I also re-submitted my Anti-Utopian paper for my sophomore english class with some minor changes in my suppositions regarding Huxley's spiritual motivations and got an A+.

Each of these people coming into my life had a profound impact on my life both individually and collectively. Individually they each made me question who and what I was in different ways. Collectively they made me question the fundamental belief systems that defined me. I love all of them dearly for their gifts but I am not always grateful.

Our responsibility in a democracy

2005-04-09T08:27:00.000-07:00

Look, we have a responsibility as citizens of a representative democracy. We must engage each other and work together to make our community a better place on every level. Since this country was founded people the world over have sought citizenship in the United States. Well with that comes a responsibility to use that citizenship, that voice to effect change in the world around us. My family and I hover around the U.S. poverty level and yet here I am drinking coffee made with clean water, writing at the computer in my living room while no one is trying to hunt me down to kill me. We have less than most Americans and yet we have more than a lot of people the world over. The least we can do with our privaleges is to use them to better the world community.

I'm not saying we should involve ourselves in every conflict, stick our noses in everyone else's business. But after WWII we swore that we would never again allow any nation to kill off entire ethnic groups. We must live up to that commitment.

I will discuss this further later but I want to leave you with this for now:
Please write to your elected officials to tell them we have to put a stop to he Genocide in Darfur. Please do not use mass mailings, these are all to easy to make into a statistic to be ignored. It needn't be long, but it should come from you. Make phone calls, do whatever your legally entitled to do to make it clear that the American people cannot allow this to continue.

Never again my ass, we're fucking complicit

2005-04-09T02:43:00.000-07:00

Children raped to death, a death toll of 300,000 plus in two fucking years and we get this from the Times: "Ms. Rice did not hold out much hope that the administrations strategy would accomplish a great deal. The Sudanese leaders, she said, "have learned that much of what we consider terribly wrong they can get away with." http://www.motherjones.com/mojoblog/index.html#128

We play world police when it suits our business interests but when it comes to genocide we can't fucking well be bothered. This is what the fucking so called
culture of life" is all about. We can occupy a country to foster so called democracy, but we had to be dragged into the weak U.N. resolution 1593 regarding the genocide in Darfur. How fucking dare we. And how dare the Jewish community remain silent while this continues.

Millions live in terror, hungry, thirsty wondering if their family will be the next to be slaughtered. When I hold my little boy I often am forced to think about the horror that has marked the end of many young lives in Darfur. I have wept uncontrollably a couple of times now for children raped to death, bodies mutilated before they are killed. It's quite hard to explain to a three year old why papa is crying for no apparent reason. We have an absolute responsibility to make this stop. If we do not we are as complicit as the janjaweed militia perpetrating this slaughter.

Women's reproductive rights is not just a women's issue

2005-04-08T02:11:00.000-07:00

One of the first comments I made on a blog led to a misunderstanding that led a couple of people to assume I was a woman. I was subsequently led to a couple of sites that led to to more. It was an eye opening experience. Sure I had some idea that women's reproductive rights were under fire but I really had know idea how badly. Here is my problem; it was because I misspelled my name that I was led to these sites at all. Why? The comment I made combined with the belief I was a woman caused me to be directed to these sites. It shouldn't make a damn lick of difference if I have a uterus or not because this effects all of us.

I don't like abortion. Ultimately I don't think anybody really does. But there are a number of things I like even less. Girls dying or very ill after tearing themselves up inside with coathangers. (still occasionally happens) A huge influx of unwanted children who place a tremendous burden on all of society. (all generalizations have exceptions, but unwanted children are still born every day)

I know the arguments. But unfortunately the arguments don't hold up at all when applied to the real worl. Like all rhetoric they look great on paper, lets have another campaign, have a conference or two and sing songs around the fire. Mean while back in the real world babies are having babies, our prison populations are exploding and children around the world are dying of AIDS. So lets look at these arguments.

Practice safe sex stupid. Wow! I hadn't thought of that, only when I was growing up I didn't really. My dad didn't have an opinion my mom would have been keen on him expressing so he didn't really. My mom was big on abstinence only. My brother had the most meaningful advice, but we have the same mom and that colored the discourse. (he did introduce me to the idea of safe sex) My highschool health class devoted two class periods to safe sex/sex-ed, and my health teacher took a lot of heat from parents for teaching the bare minimum of the curriculum. I even signed an abstinence pledge when I was fifteen. A little late though I lost my virginity at thirteen. (thumbs up I used a condom that time) But when I repeated the experience a little more than a year later it was with a girl who said she was on the pill. She got pregnant a few months later, though not by me, lending to the belief she was lying. She said she didn't like condoms and I knew nothing about venereal diseases at the time, (my brothers talk touted condoms as birth control not protection) thankfully I didn't then nor have I ever contracted any. I'm 29 and pretty typical for my generation, what's scary is that I grew up in a comparably liberal, open community. Add to that our federal and many state governments pushing to adopt the same abstinence only education policies that mean already kids in many places all ready know even less than I did when I started having sex and more of them are having than when I was a teen. Oh and it was only after dealing with a mis-carried pregnancy when I was sixteen that I got serious about safe sex. (that's when I dropped out of highschool)

Just don't have sex. "Estimated number of young Christians in 1995 who had pledged to wait until marriage to have sex: 2,500,000 - estimated percentage who waited: 12." 2.5 million kids with a similar up-bringing to mine. 2.2 million having sex, often unprotected. I'm not certain how accurate that estimate is I got it from Harpers index (March '05 http://www.harpers.org/Christianity.html#20050401peiqkqmuajuw) but it would go a long way to explain the figures for young, single mothers. And yet Dubbya and Co. Would have us inflict this on all of our children. I do believe that sex ed should begin at home but all to often parents whether out of moral indignation or flat denial refuse to approach the sex discussion with the understanding the very likely this child is going to engage in sexual activities at a relatively young age.

I would love nothing more than to see abortion eliminated, all STDs eradicated. I would dance for joy were all this discourse a footnote to history. But until that day we all must fight for our reproductive rights.

Some educational links:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/
http://www.maggotpunks.com/mp.html
http://abortionclinicdays.blogs.com/abortionclinicdays/
http://cockamamieideasinc.blogspot.com/
more later...
http://www.prokando.org/squad.html
http://www.fwhc.org/index.htm
http://rampagingpms.blogspot.com/

Some links to evil men and women who hate in the name of god:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1367496/posts
http://www.trosch.org/bra/hill-d.html
http://mediamatters.org/items/200503300002
http://www.consciencelaws.org/Repression-Conscience/Conscience-Repression-08.html

Churches I've known and loved

2005-04-06T21:58:00.000-07:00

When I was young the Christians I was exposed to (i.e. my mom's friends) in every way I could observe at the time exemplified living according to the word of God. As I've gotten to know many of them as an adult I've found that for the most part they do in fact live according to biblical principles as well as humans are capable.

I was taught that there are in fact hypocrites, who call themselves Christian, in the church but I assumed that only happened in other peoples churches. I was also taught that; a. my relationship with God is between me and God and only he is qualified to judge me, b. love is more important than anything, even faith, and living a life of love for all is the highest possible calling c. faith, while taking a side seat to love is a critical component of living a "Godly" life d. treat others no worse than you would like to be treated.

To be clear where I am coming from. My mother is a fundy in recovery, she as she gets older lives in increasing alignment to the bible. (thus she becomes less fundy every day) My dad is an atheist with slightly agnostic leanings. Part of my independent thinking is a result of learning at a young age that I should just be me because I'm not going to please both of them. After a few years in the Methodist church my mom moved us to a talking in tongues, jumping up and down Pentecostal church. I even spent 4 years going to my churches parochial school. Then inexplicably my mom decided we would go back to the Methodist church till we could find a suitable replacement. Found out later that our minister had committed adultery causing a rift when he was driven out of the church. We soon found a non denominational, Pentecostal church. I was twelve and my mom had made me a part of the process.

I thrived at our new church. Within a few months I was old enough to join the youth group, I joined the worship and praise team and began private music theory lessons with the music minister, a PhD candidate of music theory from the Eastman school of music. (he subsequently used his work with me as part of the research for his dissertation which included a comprehensive curriculum for private music theory lessons) I made a number of new friends and soon became a part of the core in that church.

When I was thirteen I both lost my virginity, smoked pot for the first time and drank for the first time. They were isolated incidents that were not repeated for a long time but they marked the beginning of a shift in my mode of thinking. By this time I had started writing songs with the help of Dan (the music minister) and performed my original music in front of the congregation and even at six or seven conferences and youth rallies. I became firmer than ever in my zeal for the lord.

When I got to highschool I started smoking tobacco and dabbled a little more in the use of drugs. Oddly it took a little longer for me to experiment more with sex but a number of kids in my youth group were becoming sexually active. Around this time my popularity in the church began to wane. (I showed up to youth group a few times smelling like what I'd been smoking) I was asked to quit the praise and worship team and parents were a lot less keen on their daughters showing interest in me. I understood the P&W team but a number of parents dislike of me didn't make any sense, I was a part of about 35% of the kids in the youth group practicing strict abstinence.

Then the bombshell, one of the sexually active girls in the church got pregnant. When this came out all but a handful of us in the youth group ganged up in condemning her for being a whore. And at a time when this seventeen year old girl needed the love and support the Christ commands us to provide, the core of the church with few exceptions made it quite clear that she was no longer welcome in our church. Without exception everyone who was sexually active were the loudest in they're condemnation.

My entire world shattered, after using the first opportunity I'd had in several months to address the congregation (in collaboration with Dan and our youth minister Allen) to chastise them for their actions concerning Bree (the preg. One) and pleading with them to apologize to her and offer her the support she so desperately needed. (I quoted scripture and everything) I didn't even get to sing the song I was up there to sing. Instead the pastor of the church made some reference to the likelihood I was stoned and one of the deacon's actually asked me to leave the premises. Five families including the youth minister's left with me that day, Dan and his wife left the church five weeks later after he found a new job.

I do not and never have believed in a god of hate and condemnation. I do not believe in a god who sets us up for failure. I do not believe in a god who would put a little bigger bottom line and multi-million dollar ahead of the health and well being of those who actual make the profits possible. I do not believe in a god who would put those profits ahead of the health and well being of the planet he called us to steward. I do not believe in a god who would have us kill each other over what to call him and how to worship him. I'm no longer certain I believe in God at all.

The God I grew up believing in was a God of love who expected me to reflect Christ's love that others would come to know him. The God I believed in gave me support in my endeavoring to live by the word and when I failed forgave me every time. The God I believed in called the pursuit of gross wealth evil. The God I believed in would consider killing in his name an absolute abhorrance.

Between the failure's of the church and the realization that the country I learned about in school didn't exist I went off the deep end. Twelve years later I have yet to recover.

The "culture of life" really has lost it

2005-04-05T18:48:00.000-07:00

I am dumbfounded. I feel like I am watching my country, this republic melt right in front of me. Our house majority leader sent out a veiled call to arms. Apparently because he was unable to do it legislatively he wants to see militant right wing extremists eliminate our independent judiciary. At least if that's not what he wanted he may just get it. But if Senator Cornyn's (R-TX) statement, on the senate floor no less, http://americablog.blogspot.com/2005/04/kennedy-asks-delay-to-renounce.html then he probably meant exactly what it sounded like, a call for divine retribution. There are any number of folks who would just love to be an instrument of divine retribution. http://www.armyofgod.com/shelleyselect.html http://www.armyofgod.com/ http://www.armyofgod.com/Paulhillindex.html
You get the idea. These are the same people, part of the very small percentage of Americans who believed it was o.k. for both our legislature and our executive branch to attempt to undermine both states rights and our third branch of government, the independent judiciary.

Our founding fathers formulated a three tiered system of checks and balances; The legislative branch to make laws, The executive branch to approve them, The judicial branch to enforce and when necessary judge the constitutionality of said laws. Judges are given lifetime tenure and rather than being elected are instead appointed by the sitting President with the approval of the legislature. The rules surrounding this process are such that appointed judges have to be accepted in part by even the minority party weighting the judiciary to the center and ensuring most of it's members will be objective and enforce the rule of law.

With Cheney only reluctantly renouncing violence against judges, http://fearofclowns.com/2005/04/message-from-dick-Cheney-and-me-to.html it becomes increasingly clear that the neo-cons and so called culture of life would tear out an integral part of our republic, the independent judiciary. What would be left behind would make us envious of the Chinese. Tom Delay's statement http://releases.usnewswire.com/GetRelease.asp?id=45102 is a criminal incitement, and if one judge dies in the aftermath Delay should be held culpable. But the open attacks on our independent judiciary by congress and the president are outright treasonous. God, Allah, Kali, save us all.

Tall Monkeys, what is he dreaming about

2005-04-05T01:42:00.000-07:00

I really am quite curious what my three year old son dreams about. He just woke up and when I went to his room he downed a cup of water, then he looks at the cieling and says; How did those monkeys get so tall like that? Then he giggles (borderline maniacly) and says; Thats funny isnt it? he then fell asleep immedieatly after the second statement.

Yesterday he told his mama he was putting his privelages away in the 'frigater.

My son his mama and I live in a small section of a township that is seperated from the rest of the township by 13 miles of the city our township is derivative of. Meaning we live in a virtual cop free zone. This in turn means we have a large homeless population hanging out in our nieghborhood. When my son was 29 months old he befriended some of our homeless nieghbors who hang out in the park near our house. His initial reaction was to invite them to live in our basement. Our new friends and I quickly explained that this would not be possible and they made it clear that while they appreciated his sharing our picnic with them they all had various places to sleep and would be just fine. This seemed to satisfy him until winter set in, he was absolutly horrified that his friends might be sleeping outside in the snowing blowing cold. He had an unholy fit when I had to tell him we still could not invite our homeless friends to live in our basement. It was hard not to cry with him.

My son does not fully comprehend the meaning of the word privalage but he does understand what his privalages are. (he really dosnt like losing them) He also understands that having a roof over his head and food to eat are also privaleges, ones that not everyone has. I am indescribably proud that my son wants to share his privelages with everyone.

I have (by choice) been homeless. I dropped out of high school for what were good reasons at the time. I have made a number of very foolish choices. I am now attempting to dig myself out of the consequences of those choices, something I never intended to do before I inadvertantly procreated. Were it not for my son I would be dying of youthfull idealism and like as not homeless again.

I often find myself embarrassed to be human

2005-04-01T03:29:00.000-08:00

I have just read U.N. Security Council resolution 1593 which refers prosecution of the "situation" in the Darfur region of Sudan to the ICC (International Criminal Court). As if referring to genocide as a "situation" wasn't bad enough the council "5. Also emphasizes the need to promote healing and reconciliation and encourages in this respect the creation of institutions, involving all sectors of Sudanese society." www.sudantribune.com/article.php3?Id_article=8819 Anyone for kum ba yah round the campfire. Oh and their imposing sanctions, but they won't hit 'em where it really hurts because China wants Sudanese oil.

I would feel better about the Bush regime's agreement to the use of the ICC were it not for Condi's comment last week that the genocide in Darfur is "really just a horrible situation." To me it seems 300,000 dead http://www.motherjones,com/mojoblog/index.html#87 would warrant a really, really horrible coming from a member of the "culture of life." A frightening aside to this is that this is in fact the same Condoleezza Rice who may very well run on the republican presidential ballet in '08.

The people of the Darfur region of Sudan have been slaughtered and starved, there are fields so littered with human remains they cannot be traversed without crushing bones beneath ones feet. Little girls are often raped to death. Imagine this, the horror, the utter abject terror that marks the end of these precious young lives. I would apologize if I've given you a sleepless night or two but while you lay awake tonight, while your eating dinner, while your playing with your children, (if you have any) while your worrying about your bills, there are hundreds of thousands of families in Darfur who are worried about getting a little more food before they starve to death or are raped and murdered.

Americas we've known and loved

2005-03-31T01:30:00.000-08:00

When I was in school (K-12) they taught my fellow lumps of clay and I about this magical kingdom called America. You see in America everyone enjoys absolute equality. Even the very poorest persons have the same opportunity to rise to the loftiest heights of wealth and power as the most privileged among us. If a person fails to "make it" well it's they're own damn fault for being so damned lazy. Oh and America is also the land of the free and the home of the Brave. Last but not least, in America the government always reflects the opinions of a overwhelming majority of it's citizens.

unfortunately my bubble has since burst. In America poor children are mostly relegated to overcrowded classrooms, have absent parents and are surrounded by people who have jealousy driven disdain for any "uppity nigger" who actually wants to leave the ghetto. America incarcerates a larger percentage of its population than all but a handful of countries, neither China or the former Soviet Union has ever reached our numbers here. The government of America does far better at representing business than it does the American people.